Three and Out

YOUR 2008 World Champion...

2008-10-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

Philadelphia Phillies.

If I'm dreaming, don't pinch me.

Jamie Moyer and the Phillies

2008-10-26T21:12:00.000-07:00

We were in Seattle this weekend. Well, part of the week, too. Wednesday night we went to the Palace Kitchen, one of our favorite restaurants that happens to have a nice central bar area and a TV, to watch the end of game 1. The bar was full, as it often is there, but a very nice woman let us know when she was about to finish up so we could have her place. In the course of talking to her about the game, which she was also watching, she asked, "Do you think they [the Phillies] will let Jamie pitch?"

"He's scheduled for game three," I said.

"I hope he does well," she said. "I'm rooting for the Phillies because of him."

I thought that was interesting. Then the next person I mentioned the Series to also said they were hoping Moyer did well. I knew Moyer'd pitched for Seattle in his prime, but I didn't know he was such a beloved local figure. It turns out he still has all his charities operating in the Seattle area. It turns out he left on very good terms, unlike some other stars (A-Rod is one whose name is always spoken with some scorn). It turns out that Seattle has very little to cheer for in the sports world right now. The Seahawks were 1-5 until this weekend, when they beat up on a weak Niners team. The Sonics are gone, "replaced" in the NBA fashion by the Oklahoma City Thunder. The Mariners finished in last place this year.

Jamie Moyer is the kind of athlete who's on a first-name basis with the city. Joe Posnanski has more on how amazing his performance this year has been from a purely baseball standpoint, but you have to have talked to a few people in Seattle to realize what his performance means to them, even for another team.

"I just want him to get a World Series appearance," the front desk clerk at our hotel said. "A win would be great, but just a couple good innings..."

Moyer had been lit up in the postseason. First the Brewers, then the Dodgers, teed off on his slow curves. The chances of him surviving more than a couple innings against the power-slugging Rays did not look good.

"I just hope he digs in and finds one more quality start," said one of my Seattle co-workers.

He did that, and more. The only thing he (and Seattle) could've hoped for would have been to get the W he deserved. But he pitched over six strong innings for his team, gave up only three runs, and helped lift the Phillies to a victory.

He's an inspiration, not only to Seattle, but also to me. You may have heard that he's 45. I think he's one of the few active baseball players who's older than I am. Sometime in the next couple years, there won't be any. So I'm holding on to this one, to the guy older than I am who pitched in the World Series and led his team to a 2-1 lead.

(I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that the Phillies are now up 3-1, but Jamie didn't really have anything to do with that, unless he was giving Joe Blanton a pep talk.)

The point of this all? Jamie Moyer is a pretty awesome guy all around. He kind of embodies what I love about the Phillies this year: apart from Jimmy Rollins, they aren't really a flashy bunch. They feel like the kind of guys who just play baseball for the heck of it, even J-Roll. They have fun, but they're smart and articulate (listen to Ryan Howard talk post-game sometime). They're the kind of team, in other words, that could've been tailor-made for Jamie Moyer to join.

Let's hope he gets a ring out of it, for the sake of two sports-hungry cities.

Football Is A Mental Game

2008-08-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I want to slap football players.

Anquan Boldin says he has no relationship with his coach. "I'm a football player. That's about it."

Uh... yeah, so suck it up and play football. Stop whining.

And then, Chris Henry on maybe never playing in the NFL again: "To have that taken away from you, that can be really hard. That would have been a tough thing to go through. I kind of went through that. I was scared at one point that I wouldn't have the opportunity to be back on the field."

Gee, maybe you should have thought of that before you went out and GOT ARRESTED FIVE TIMES.

It hasn't escaped notice that these are both wide receivers, the most insecure position in football.

Olympics

2008-08-14T11:50:00.001-07:00

OK, I was trying to do something else and tried to login to Google and wondered why I had a gmail account. Then I saw this link. OH, yeah.

I love the Olympics.
I love the scandals (underage gymnasts! overdoped cyclists!)
I love the sports you never see during the year--at least, you don't see them now that ESPN has baseball and Wide World of Sports is off the air.

I have had only one "Olympic Moment" so far, and that was the predictable "US Swim Team Relay comes from behind to win!" I am a little annoyed that experienced sports guys are talking about it like they are idiots. Chris Collinsworth was on last night comparing the other guys to the Packers and Phelps to Favre, saying the other guys were (in essence) jealous and annoyed with Phelps because they said they hadn't been thinking of his 8 medals, they had been focused on winning their one medal. I guess my advantage is that I have never done anything ever so I KNOW that I don't know what they are feeling, so I listen to what they tell me and base my opinions on that, not how I might have felt when Kenny Anderson was a bigger star than I.

I do get a bit tired of hearing about Phelps, but I guess they figure you need someone to root for or you won't tune in tomorrow. But the thing is that every person who is at those games is living a dream, fulfilling a long and grueling quest (sometimes it was just the quest for citizenship, like in the case of the Georgian Women's Beach Volleyball team, but it was effort nonetheless). Each person is enough of a story--and once they get past the stridency of Misty May and Phelps and all, to their credit, they do often communicate those stories.

oops... running out of time...

Racing into the Past

2008-07-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

I've been watching Formula One racing on a regular basis for the first time since college. Back in those days Michael Schumacher was driving for Benetton and I cheered for him because 1) he was German, an 2) he had a pretty cool looking car. The racing this season has been far more engaging than I remember from back in those days, with three or four teams consistently contending for the podium finishes each week. This week's German Grand Prix though leaves me feeling a bit nostalgic. The Hockenheim track used to be among my favorites. It was over 4 miles long with most of the track sprinting through the woods on long straightaways. It was perhaps the closest thing F1 had to flat-out oval racing, with a few chicanes thrown in to keep the speeds from getting too outrageous. In the late 90s though, the F1 powers that be threatened to leave Hockenheim unless the track was shortened. As a result, the portion of the track that gave Hockenheim its character--the high speed straights through the forests--were snipped out all together, leaving it a boring, unimaginative shell of it's former self.

Through the magic of TV, today was the first time I had a chance to see the track in its current state and I find myself torn emotionally. Part of me wishes that they'd kept the wooded portion of the old layout intact, even if F1 refused to race the full layout. They got the shorter track they wanted in a re-design. The 'full' track could have been used for sports car races and motorcycles, much in the same way that the 20+km Nürburgring Nordschlief is still used for 24 hour races and public access but is ignored by modern F1 (with rare exception) in favor of a shorter, less interesting track. Instead, they plowed under most of the racecourse at Hockenheim. That's where the other part of me is happy. Had they sold off the now unused land in order to make room for more commercial development it would have been a tragedy, but at least for now that's not the plan. Instead, the Germans are allowing nature to reclaim the former straightaways. It's a sad, but beautiful thing. These days we so often see forests turn to sub divisions and rolling plains turn into strip malls. It's so rare that we see transformation go the other way.

Wow.

2008-02-03T19:42:00.000-08:00

HE CAUGHT IT WITH HIS HEAD!

That was all I could keep chanting after David Tyree made a ... a... 'circus catch' just doesn't do it justice. No words that I can think of really do it justice. All I can say is that it will almost certainly unseat Dwight Clark's as the most clutch catch in NFL Playoff history. It was one of those catches that would be up for an ESPY even if it occurred in the third quarter of a regular season blow-out.

It was destined to happen though. You could just feel it. It was the same feeling earlier this season when the Patriots eeked by the Ravens. It was that game, you'll recall, where the Ravens held a late game lead and had seemingly stopped the Patriots on 4th down to secure a victory, only to have they play nullified by a time out that their coaches had called just before the ball was snapped. Another 4th down stop was negated by a false start (one of the very few times a false start was beneficial to the offense), and a foolish Defensive Holding penalty kept New England's drive alive. It all added up to what Tony Kornheiser called a 'tragic inevitability'. New England was destined to win that game, and they did.

The same thing unfolded tonight. After Randy Moss put the Patriots up with just over 2 and a half minutes to play, the Giants seemed to get those little breaks... the fourth down conversion... Asante Samuel's feet coming down out of bounds with what would have been a game sealing interception... And then, that... play. I'm sure someone will have a patented nickname for it by tomorrow... 'The Play' is a LITTLE too grandiose, as is 'The Miracle', but whatever they call it... 'it' happened. Even though the Giants were still 25 yards out, it was inevitable that they would win. It was just a matter of how.

Take This Lei and...

2007-12-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

Wow. Go to http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/index today and look at the map associated with the poll about whether you'd vote Roger Clemens into the Hall of Fame. Maybe it's early in the day, but there are five states that vote "no": New Hampshire, West Virginia, Utah, Nebraska, and Hawaii (Wyoming is split 50-50). What an odd assortment of states. Hawaii voted 100% no (as of the time of this posting). What did Roger ever do to the Hawaiians?

Fly, Eagles, Fly

2007-11-26T10:04:00.001-08:00

After playing the Patriots closer than any other team this year (I think the Colts lost by four), there's a quarterback controversy in Philly! No, not really. Here's the thing, though. The Eagles seem to have a tendency to light up and do well when McNabb is on the bench. Would anyone say that A.J. Feeley is a better QB? Or Jeff Garcia even? Taken by themselves, no. On this Eagles team, well, um... I'm gonna have to go with 'maybe.'

What it feels like to me is that McNabb is so talented that when he's in the game, two things happen. First of all, he feels like he has to carry the team, like he has to be the guy who delivers the win. Second of all, the coaches feel like they have this major talent out on the field, and they have to let him play his game. When you've got A.J. or Garcia out there, the coaches run a good mix of plays, the defense usually steps up, everybody chips in. It actually looks, at times like that, as though the Eagles have a good team and a good coaching staff.

So the QB controversy that should be brewing in Philly is not whether to start Donovan or not. The controversy should be whether to give Donovan the same mix of plays you give Feeley and Garcia, or that you'd give any QB if you didn't think they had Awesome Talent. Because I think McNabb could've played that game last night as wel as Feeley did, plus maybe he doesn't throw that last interception into the end zone (which I think was when Feeley tried to Make Something Happen as opposed to just taking what the defense gave him, or maybe it was the coaches hoping to take New England by surprise, in which case they are idiots because everyone knows you cannot surprise Bill Belichick, who has a Gray's Sports Almanac from the year 2015 locked in a safe in his office in Gillette Field, and he's just waiting for the day when a kid or a crazy old man comes to ask him about it...).

All that aside: great game, Eagles. If there is such a thing as a moral victory in football, going into the 2007 Patriots' house and having a chance to win with a minute left in the game certainly counts.

BSPN

2007-11-13T11:35:00.000-08:00

"Welcome to SportsCenter. I'm Rich Eisen with Steve Levy. Tonight we'll take a look at the Boston Celtics. Just how good can they be? Could they be the best team in basketball? Maybe the best team of the last twenty years?"

"And we'll look back on the World Champion Boston Red Sox and what each of the players on that team is up to. Could they win five more championships before all is said and done? Or is it more likely eight?"

"But we start with a look at the New England Patriots. Here, just look at some photos. My God, they're manly. Oh, sorry, Steve, I'm drooling on the desk."

"That's okay, Rich. I was lost in admiring Tom Brady's throwing motion and didn't notice."

"It is gorgeous, isn't it?"

"And just look at Randy Moss jump."

*silence*

"Wow."

"I don't think there is any question, this could be the greatest team in the history of organized athletics."

"Steve, I wouldn't be surprised to see them challenge UCLA's record 88 consecutive wins."

"I agree, Rich."

"In other news, there are some teams outside the Boston area playing, as we can see from the shot of the scoreboard behind Kevin Garnett's head. We'll freeze the frame for a second so you can look at the scores, then we'll have ten more minutes of Celtics coverage followed by Lee Corso asking whether Boston College can get back in the BCS race."

*commercial for some mobile phone featuring Peyton Manning*

It's Not Easy Seeing Green

2007-10-31T13:23:00.000-07:00

In 1996, Freelancer and I went to a Target store somewhere way off the beaten path to see Kevin Garnett in person. The line stretched halfway around the store by the time we got there, which was fairly late, but we got our stuff signed (a photo for Freelancer, media guide for me--I still have it). We'd seen the Wolves earlier that year, and Freelancer, who has forgotten more about basketball than I know, said, "That kid can play." Seeing him in person, up close, was weird in the same way it's weird to see any professional basketball player up close. They just seem to be built on a different scale (I once saw David Robinson in an airport--same deal. You never ask "is that a basketball player?" You ask "which basketball player is that?").

Garnett was huge, not only in person but for the state of Minnesota. He became, like Kirby Puckett, the face of a franchise. When he went silent the summer of the salary negotiation that would soon change the collective bargaining agreement, the state held its breath. He wasn't committing to staying, but he wasn't signaling his departure, either. It felt difficult to get at the truth: he was a 21-year-old kid, still, who was doing the best thing a kid can do in that situation. He was letting the professional he'd hired to represent him do just that.

The huge contract he signed was worth it. I was living in Minnesota when Kirby Puckett entered free agency for the last time, and the suspense was similar, the relief even more pronounced this time, because while Puckett was just sliding off the edge of his prime, Garnett had yet to reach his, and this was a guarantee that it would be spent in Minnesota.

Sadly, it became clear after several years that "wasted" might be a better word than "spent." Apart from one run to the Western Conference Finals, the Wolves got to the level of "first-round playoff team" and stayed there. Things deteriorated, but Garnett was always the face of the Timberwolves. I don't think it's possible for anyone who hasn't lived in Minnesota to realize how much he represented that franchise. He carried them for years, overcoming McHale and Taylor's borderline-incompetent management until recently.

I discovered about a month ago that I can't watch him in Celtics green. It's a painful reminder of what the Wolves could have been, what they gave up, what they are now. Maybe I'll get over it later this year, but right now, it just seems wrong, like the hue is wonky, and I need to adjust a dial on my set to get that uniform back to blue or black. It's not that I hate the Celtics or anything; just seeing Garnett in a different uniform hurts. I don't begrudge him the chance to go somewhere where he has a chance to be winning a title, nor to start over with new management. I'll be rooting for him to get that ring someday, somewhere. But I won't be watching.

Four and Out

2007-10-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

You may have heard something about an unlikely team winning the NL pennant and electrifying a city. I can't add a lot from the baseball side, but a couple of us did have the good fortune to attend last night's NL pennant-clinching game, so I thought I'd recount a bit of the experience.

When we got the tickets to the fourth game, it was more because Monday worked better in our schedule than Sunday did--driving out from California to see family, the trip planned well in advance of the playoffs, we only started thinking toward the end of the season, "You know...if the Rockies beat the Phillies...nah, don't say it." And when it turned out there'd be a game coinciding with our visit, we grabbed some tickets online from a long-suffering Cubs fan who'd succumbed to a rare bout of optimism (thanks, Gus!).

After the Rockies' first win in Arizona, we thought, "you know, we might...don't say it, don't say it!" Then on the way out, we sat in a bar in Vail watching them win in extra innings in Arizona. Sunday night in Colorado Springs we were glad we weren't in the freezing rain, even though Torrealba's homer would have been an amazing moment to see. By the time Monday rolled around, it seemed almost inevitable that we would see the pennant-clinching game, the Rockies' first World Series appearance just 27 outs away against a team that had managed only four runs in three games.

We arrived in downtown Denver to see people selling brooms on every corner. Our non-sports-following friends who'd met us for dinner thought, because of this, that the Arizona team was called the "Dust Devils." We explained that they were the "Diamondbacks" and the brooms were because you kill snakes with brooms. Then we actually explained the "sweep" thing. They liked the snake-killing explanation better, and frankly, so did we. Not wanting to jinx the team, we opted not to buy a broom, amusing our friends with the power we felt we had over the team's fate.

After dinner, as we got closer to the stadium, we found people distinguishing their brooms by painting them in Rockies colors. The atmosphere was crazy, people hooting and cheering before the game even started. We found Mark's sister, brother-in-law, and friend, rounding out our group, and proceeded into the stadium.

We'd visited Coors Field in June, when the Rockies were struggling along toward what looked like another .500-ish season, flirting with the wild card. The upper decks in June were sparsely populated, especially with the light rain falling. Last night, of course, every section was packed. Our seats (sec. 303) were in the very top row behind right center field, but the weather this night was perfect October baseball weather: cool, clear, crisp, with a light breeze.

I've been to a few playoff games in baseball and basketball: the Timberwolves' second playoff game in history (loss to the Rockets), and a Twins playoff game in Oakland (their only loss of the series). The energy in a playoff game crowd is a level above a regular game--it's not unusual for chants to go on through the whole game. This one was even more enthusiastic than the Oakland game, because the crowd knew that the pennant was possible. Chants of "Let's go Rockies" came up at least once an inning, late in the game one side of the stadium started to chant, "GO!" and our side responded, "ROCKIES!" Matt Holliday got "M.V.P.!" chants every time he came up. Being a Phillies fan (yes, rooting for the Rockies--besides the family connections, my credo is, if you beat my team, you damn well better win it all so I can say we got beaten by the best), I couldn't let down Jimmy Rollins by joining in to that one--until Holliday popped that homer to dead center in the fourth. After that, I just told myself, "Well, it's for M.V.P. of the series..." Fan favorite rookie SS Troy Tulowitzki got the British football clap, with "TU-LO!" at the end. And of course, every time Eric "we've outplayed them" Byrnes came to the plate, he was greeted by loud and lusty boos (we were saying "Boo-urns").

The fourth inning was incredible. We were a little surprised that Hurdle pulled the pitcher so early, but Morales had been struggling and the priority at that point was clearly to keep the rally going. Seth Smith delivered, in spades. His bloop seemed to hang in the air forever, the crowd trying to help gravity with screams of "DROP! DROP! DROP!" And drop it did, just inside the foul line. And if we thought that was exciting, three batters later, Matt Holliday smacked a ball that was by no means a no-doubt-about-it from our angle. It hung in the air over center field while we jumped and yelled, opposing gravity this time, and then dropped out of our sight toward the center field fence. A second later, even people down in Colorado Springs heard the cheers as it landed 452 feet from home plate, scoring three more runs that would prove to be the difference in the game.

The energy subsided a bit after that, but being in the top row, we didn't sit down for the whole game. One man came backing up the stairs, eyes riveted on the field as he tried not to spill his beer and cup of fries. In the mid-to-late innings of a regular season game, people get tired, the stadium quiets down, and we usually take that time to do a walk around the stadium. Not last night. Top of the sixth, we started counting down the outs. 12...11...10. 9...8...7. Every strike cheered as though it were an out, every out cheered like a regular-season win. 6...5...4...4...4... Even when it got dicey in the eighth, a three-run home run almost equaling Arizona's entire offensive output in the first three games that brought the game back within reach for them, we kept faith. We knew intellectually that Arizona could come back, could take this game and maybe the next, but emotionally we felt it: there was no way. Fuentes went out, Corpas came in, and there were three outs to go.

Then two. Then a double, just to make things interesting. Then one. How fitting it was that Eric "they're just lucky" Byrnes should make the final out, a grounder to Tulo, who rifled it to Rockies legend Todd Helton. Pandemonium. We knew it was going to happen, and yet the actual moment still exploded in the stadium like the fireworks that seemed to go on forever, the "National League Champions" graphic repeating over and over on the screen as though it couldn't quite believe itself either. We kept yelling, cheering, trying to express the incredible elation of the moment.

Yes, I'm not a die-hard Rockies fan (note the dorky look in the above picture). I don't have years following the team. This victory probably meant more to just about everyone else in the stadium. But it's impossible to be in that crowd and not soak up some of the dizzying joy of it all, the giddy heights of we did it! Because no matter who you are, you're welcome to be a part of it. I high-fived more drunk people last night than I have since college. Several times, walking through the stadium after the celebration (which was full of awesome as well, seeing the stand set up and the trophy actually right there on the field), I met someone's eye and we'd both just grin for a moment and shake our heads, thinking the same thing: I can't believe this, how great is this moment.

I can't say enough about the city and its fans. Rockies banners on the state capital building. "Go Rockies" on every other LCD sign along the highway. The only thing I've seen comparable to it was the love for the Pacers, back in the 90s when I visited Indianapolis during the NBA playoffs. Whether they win the Series or not, these fans deserve their NL pennant, and, what's more, they appreciate it.

As we walked around after the game, there seemed to be a fan stationed on every corner getting cars to honk. Security guards drifted discreetly through the streets, but there was no need for them. No rioting for their first World Series here in Denver, just screaming, honking, cheering, more high-fiving. We walked around for a while soaking it in, and when we finally stopped in a bar to warm up, the bartender gave me my non-alcoholic drink on the house. "Go Rockies," he said, indicating our brand-new "NL Champions" hats. "You know we're goin' to the World Series??"

We grinned back. "Yeah," we said, "We think we mighta heard something about that."

An Idea

2007-10-10T13:55:00.001-07:00

Okay, this might not be 100% appropriate for this blog, but I dunno where else to put it. I don't really follow the ever-changing world of MMOs all that much, but I was intrigued recently when I read about a Flight Simulator community that has grown up around allowing people to play at being air traffic controllers for all the people flying simulated planes. In other words, there are people who voluntarily simulate what is supposed to be one of the top five jobs that comes up when you cross-index "tedious" and "stressful." (I assume that part of the attraction is that the virtual plane crashes are much less stressful than the real ones.)

On the heels of that comes today's Penny Arcade article in which a noted game designer imagines an MMO based on industrial construction, and does a pretty darn good job of it. Which got me to thinking that people are probably willing to do virtually (ha) anything they would do in the real world as an MMO.

So why not play sports? Not just the current incarnation where you take your teams and design plays and control a couple key players, but really...get into the world of sports. Be a player, control your exercise and diet, learn your plays, and get ready for the big game. Be a coach, plan strategies and develop a playbook with signals that you have to teach your players. Be a GM, be an owner, and instead of buying Alex Rodriguez or Randy Moss, go get the services of actual people. Join some friends to run a team, band some teams together to form a league, and let there be as many leagues as necessary. Games take place whenever teams can schedule them conveniently. You could even be a referee or an ump!

I mean, come on. If you're going to take a real-world activity and make it virtual, at least make it something fun, hm?

Being a Fan

2007-10-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

The blogs have been ringing with the demise of the Yankees--between that and the late-season collapse of the Mets (which I have to bring up as often as possible), it's like heaven for everyone outside the NYC orbital cloud. While it's moderately annoying to have more attention devoted to a team that lost than to all four teams that are moving on (combined), it has sparked some interesting conversations, and one dialogue in particular about what it means to be a fan that interests me specifically.

It started with Joe Posnanski, a recent addition to my blogroll, talking about the "irrational fan":

[...]somewhere along the way, I did lose some of that irrational fan I had been as a boy, the one who believed that Rick Waits would win 20, the fan who sat in bed and stared at walls for hours when the Browns lost, the fan who screamed “Get a damn rebound, one damn rebound, just one,” over and over at the television when the Cleveland Cavaliers were playing. I guess I believe that most people outgrow that fan much in the same way that most people at some age stop going to keggers and stop pretending they get today’s music.

We talked about being irrational fans. There are some people I know who have not yet outgrown that phase, and some who have. But that's all tied up with love of the team and how much influence sports has over your life. The important part of that that I took away was that the team for these people was like family. When they succeeded, you felt like a part of that success, and their failures were your failures. Growing up, for many of us, the family we grew up with becomes less important and the family we create ourselves takes precedence. The sports team, at this time, drifts back to a second tier of importance. We'll cheer their victories and lament their failures, but we don't feel them as our own. But still, that bond is there. Win or lose, we love our team.

Unless that team happens to be the Yankees. Jeff Pearlman, on ESPN's Page 2, chimes in with this interesting observation:

Like the Yankees, [Marion] Jones had invested heavily in the modern American way of thinking -- that nothing but first place can be considered a success. That's why Barry Bonds allegedly broke the rules to snap the single-season and career home run records, why Floyd Landis and dozens of others apparently wouldn't mind winning the Tour de France with cheater's gold flowing through their veins, why Shawne Merriman can be suspended for using steroids and named a Pro Bowler in the same season and we're not shocked. It's why, whenever I pass a Little League ball field or a Pop Warner scrimmage or a gymnastics meet for 7-year-olds, there is inevitably a parent (or 10) chewing out his/her kid, not for a lack of effort, but for a lack of results.

It's not just Yankees fans, of course, but they are the most glaring example, and on an individual level, being a fan of winning has started to supplant being a fan of the game. We were taught growing up that "it's not whether you win or lose; it's how you play the game," and jokingly we would change it to "it's not whether you win or lose; it's whether you win," or, if we were feeling more lofty, quote Vince Lombardi (himself quoting Red Sanders of UCLA) in response: "Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing." Somewhere along the way, the easier, more personally rewarding and selfish phrase morphed from a twist or a joke into a real credo.

Being a fan isn't supposed to be about the results. It's supposed to be about supporting your team, when they screw up (let me run down the last ten years as a fan of Minnesota sports in a nutshell, shall I? Clem Haskins, Gary Anderson, 41-0, Joe Smith, Fred Smoot's boat, contraction), and rejoicing with them when they win. You're not a stockholder in the team, to demand results or else; you're family. You don't give up on family.

Again, lest you think that all columnists are stereotypers who don't know how the real fans think, here is a portion of a comment from a Yankees fan on Will Leitch's NYT column of 10/9:

To root for the most successful franchise in the history of professional sports is not a difficult thing. In fact, if you divide up the years by the 26 WS titles the Yankees have won somewhere in between 1 out of 4 and 1 out of 5. Our time is coming. We will be champions again.

I just wonder how you can be an Astros fan, or a Mariners fan. And I’m not sure what is worse, never winning, or winning once, like the Angels.

The extent to which this person doesn't get it is breathtaking. Of course it's not "difficult" to be a Yankees fan--that's why they make it difficult by demanding more and more of their team. How can you be an Astros fan, or a Mariners fan? You grow up with the team. You learn the players, you watch the game. You appreciate the small successes. You never forget that Alex Rodriguez and Randy Johnson were Mariners once, that epic NLCS game against the Phils in 1980, Joe Neikro (or was it Phil?) and Luis Sojo and Craig Biggio and Ken Griffey, Jr. Every moment doesn't have to be a championship; every playoff victory is a gift, not a right. That's how you're a fan of any team--including some for the Yankees. Just not many.

Because when you come down to it, sports teams really are a family. Love them, hate them, but always come back to them, win or lose. Which makes me wonder if those of us with less idyllic childhoods might be more prone to "picking up" new teams to root for, or why moving to certain cities might or might not inspire you to root for that city's teams, but that's another post for another time. They will never be that perfect family you remember from childhood, but they will always be there for you.

Unless they move to L.A. That's where it all breaks down, of course.

Replay It! (So I can have my heart broken in slo-mo)

2007-10-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why so many people are up in arms about the end of the Rockies/Padres game on Monday. Sports talk radio (especially sports talk radio here in Southern California) was abuzz about how this game was proof that baseball needs instant replay just like football and basketball.

Except it's not proof at all.

This wasn't a game lost because of the lack of replay like the Jets/Seahawks 9 years ago when Vinny Testeverde was awarded a touchdown even though replays showed the ball was a good 6 inches short of the goal line. And it wasn't like the Rams/Bucs playoff game a couple years later when a Bert Emanuel catch was overturned because technically the ball had touched the ground even though Emanuel appeared to have it in his control. These were plays that justifiably led to the instatement of replay and the tweaking of the rules.

Monday night's game, however, would not have been changed by replay. Neither controversial call in the game (Colorado's maybe-home-run and Matt Holiday's swipe-or-no-swipe of home plate) would have been overturned had replay been used in that game. Both were too close to call, with no visual evidence that the ball did or didn't clear the fence and no clear evidence that Holiday did or didn't tag. And lest this sound like a pro-Colorado stance, I'll state the had Holiday been called out there is no way the call would have been overturned. It would have ended much the way the UConn/Temple football game ended earlier this season where Temple appeared to score a go-ahead touchdown in the waning seconds of the game, but the call was out of bounds and there was no visual evidence to overturn it other than some body-language cues that he probably did catch the ball.

Fired Up

2007-10-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, maybe it's just bitterness from getting dropped out of the survivor league (I wasn't the only one), but I find myself in the rare position of arguing for a mid-season coaching change. How do you lose a home game to a team as woeful as Kansas City with the level of talent Norv has in San Diego? At this point, their season is over. I won't say you're going to need a particularly good record to win the AFC West, but Denver clearly has the inside track on that now, and Oakland has been playing well enough that you can't count on either of those games as a gimme (and clearly, you can't count on a KC game either, especially when you're going to Arrowhead). Not to mention that they have to play the Colts, at Tennessee, and at Jacksonville. Heck, even Houston coming to SD is not a cert right now. Coupled with the Bears loss at Detroit, it now looks like the Chargers' win in the first week of the season was a product of a lousy Bears team more than a talented Chargers team.

So what to do? Usually I am more cautious about calling for mid-season coaching changes, but Norv has got to know he was on a short leash to begin with, given his prior record. Getting blown out at New England was bad. Losing at Green Bay was bad. Losing at home to the Chiefs--sorry, that's strike three. Write this season off and bring in a new coaching staff, let them get used to the players and vice versa, and load up for next season.

Postscript: I wrote this before seeing the consensus across blogdom. (Google "fire norv" for more. It's astounding, really. I should buy stock in rakes and Frankenstein torches.)

Best line courtesy of Deadspin: "Chargers 16, Chiefs 6 -- Taking a lead in the first half, Norv Turner solemnly made halftime adjustments in the hopes of making the lead smaller or non-existent."

The "Real Deal"

2007-09-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

Overheard during the New England-San Diego game Sunday night on the radio: "Shawne Merriman had 16 sacks in only twelve games last season. He is the real deal."

Except, of course, that he only played in twelve games because he was serving a suspension for steroid use in the other four. Have we forgotten already? Really? Did you have to use the phrase "the real deal" in the same breath in which you mentioned his suspension for using artificial performance enhancing drugs?

Perhaps He Is Speaking In Some Kind Of Code

2007-08-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

Here at Three and Out, we like to dig up stories that are under the radar because they are unsurprising or unimportant, but at least are connected to our favorite teams. You might have heard of a little deal two of our teams made a little while back, in which Sebastian Telfair was sent to his third NBA team at the ripe old age of 22. He struck the right note in his new city, telling the Minneapolis press that he accepts responsibility for his previous problems and is taking steps to correct them. Well, that sounds promising! What kind of steps?

"I've taken myself out of New York City and moved to Vegas so I can concentrate on basketball."

Wait, what?

I mean, come on. I realize he's bounced around a lot, but if he'd picked a city with an NBA team, at least he'd have a 1 in 30 shot at landing there from year to year...

Fun With Neurotic Red Sox Fans

2007-07-05T15:38:00.000-07:00

As previously reported right here in this blog, John Henry, owner of the Red Sox, actually did buy half the NASCAR Roush Racing team this winter, and now the partnership is coming to fruition. The target? None other than 2005 Nextel Cup 2nd place finisher Carl Edwards. Carl got a full makeover last week, his car and helmet repainted in Red Sox team colors, complete with a Red Sox logo on the hood and doors and the 9's redone in the font that Ted Williams wore on his jersey. Carl even got to drive his car into Fenway Park and threw out the ceremonial first pitch for Saturday's game vs. the Rangers.

As you might have heard, the Red Sox are doing pretty well this year. Best record in the majors, even. Carl's also having a pretty good year after missing the Chase last year - 7th place, pretty solidly in the running this year, and completely dominating the Busch Series by an astounding 784 points. It's far too tempting to draw comparisons between the two, as if Carl was an avatar for the Red Sox's season. Same ownership, right? Similar situations. As you can guess, this only served to further prove that Red Sox fans' psyches are about as formidable as Glass Joe.

Carl finished 2nd in Saturday's Busch race in Loudon, NH. Not so bad, right? Except for the fact that his car failed post-race inspections, and was fined and docked 25 points. Things seemed bright for Edwards in the Sunday Nextel race as well, racing towards the front of the pack and leading a few laps. Towards the home stretch of the race, Edwards pitted. As his tires were being changed, his car slipped and fell off the jack, taking up valuable time - 47 seconds worth, over twice as long as the average pit stop. He got back on the track a lap down and his day was over, finishing 13th.

Cars rarely fall off the jacks in NASCAR. It's a pretty rare flub for a team to have to go through. To make an analogy, it's almost like a routine grounder dribbling through an infielder's legs. It just doesn't happen very often.

I'm sure the Red Sox will be just fine this year.

Do You Believe In Hyperbole?

2007-07-04T13:56:00.000-07:00

Last year, we happened to be working out at the gym on July 4th when Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Competition was being televised on the four-letter. If you have missed it in the past, I highly recommend it. From the "has eaten" list that stretches the imagination ("one tenth of her body weight in cheesecake ... 97 Krystal burgers in eight minutes ... 8.6 pounds of deep-fried asparagus spears in ten minutes ..."--see the full list of records if you really want to boggle your mind) to the quirky competitors, including a vegetarian who only eats meat at "sanctioned competitive events," it's a spectacle unlike any other. “Nothing represents summer and the Fourth of July like the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog-Eating Contest,” said Wayne Norbitz, president and COO of Nathan’s Famous, and notorious barbecue and fireworks hater. “This year our nation has new hope for glory.” Wait, what?

See, this year's tilt had the added bonus of a challenger worthy of six-time champ and Japanese national Takeru Kobayashi: San Jose's own Joey Chestnut, who broke Kobayashi's overall record for hot dogs eaten and seemed poised to unseat the champ and bring the "mustard belt" back to the good ol' U.S. of A. He did so in record style as both he and Kobayashi surpassed his previous record of 59.5, when thanks to an unfortunate "reversal," Kobayashi ended up three dogs short of Chestnut's winning 66.

The announcers are just as insane as the contestants. Bringing the championship back to America, the hysterical announcer exclaimed, was "the greatest moment in American sports history." Upon hearing that, an indignant Jim Craig immediately signed up for next year's contest.

Choking Hazard

2007-07-02T00:15:00.000-07:00

Found this little gem off a comment from the Deadspin Post of the Year, 2007: The Chris Benoit "Deluxe Aggression" action figure! Get it while it's hot! The best part of it? The little "Choking Hazard" warning in the bottom left. Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night.

Once again, proving that most of our (okay, my) content usually originates on Deadspin, here is the winning comment from all the hubbub about this tragedy:

"Why didn't his wife and kid just tap out?"

Who's The Next Steroid User To Murder Their Family?

The "NFL Europe" Never Really Existed

2007-06-29T15:22:00.001-07:00

The most startling thing about this piece of news is not that the league that began life as "the Waffle" is going away, but that its actual name was "NFL Europa." Europa? Seriously? I guess if you consider the NFL to be Jupiter, then "NFL Europa" accurately describes the difference in scale between the two. Also, then we could call University of Phoenix Stadium the Great Red Spot.

Rotoworld Gets Their Sarcasm On

2007-06-26T23:17:00.000-07:00

Rotoworld is a very interesting site. Like many people (but unlike most of my fellow contributors, as far as I can tell), I have a fantasy baseball team or five, and it's indispensable for news on my current players and pretty open about sharing information. There's a sidebar on Boston Dirt Dogs for Rotoworld information about the Sox, and occasionally they put out a really funny blurb. I think that's why I like them more than other knockoffs like Rotowire, KFFL, Stats Inc, etc. Plus they've got a nicer website. Anyway, some faithful Rotoworld readers compiled a list of really funny ones themselves, so instead of blatantly steal like I usually do, I'll just link. I particularly like the David Terrell and Taco Wallace ones. The reason for this post, of course, is because I came across a particularly cutting and amusing one tonight:

Kason Gabbard - BOS
Kason Gabbard issued two of his six walks with the bases loaded in the first and gave up four runs in 3 1/3 innings Tuesday against the Mariners.
It should have been worse, but Manny Delcarmen bailed him out of a bases-loaded jam in the fourth. The Red Sox just butchered this one tonight. The first mistake was going to Gabbard against a team that is quite a bit better against lefties. They watched him almost completely blow the game in the first. Besides the walk, there was also a bases-loaded HBP in the frame. Then the Red Sox trotted out their worst relievers one-by-one. Perhaps the most incredible moment of the season so far came in the sixth. Lefty specialist Javier Lopez, in his second inning of work having already given up a two-run homer to Richie Sexson, intentionally walked the only left-handed hitter in Seattle's lineup (Ichiro) before being removed from the game. That it worked out hardly made it any less bizarre. Judging from Lopez's presence in the contest in the first place, we can only assume that Joel Pineiro passed away last week and no one bothered to alert the media.

This, of course, is quickly followed by:

Joel Pineiro - BOS
Joel Pineiro has been unavailable the last two days because he rolled an ankle working out on Monday.
So it wasn't his time after all.
Source: Boston Herald

Classic.

The Joys of Sox

2007-06-22T00:13:00.000-07:00

It's 3 months into the baseball season, right? And this is a sports blog, right? And I am a massive Red Sox fan, right? And the Red Sox are currently leading the AL East by 10.5 games, right? Right. So why hasn't there been any Red Sox-related posts from the most rabid Red Sox fan on this site?

Well, for one, pretty much every news site/blog/major television network just keeps talking about the Red Sox/Yankees ALL THE TIME. Give it a rest, guys, or else this old lady is totally going to gently ask you to tone it down.. after she gives you some of her home-made brownies, of course.

For two.. Sox fans are big believers in karma, which is amusing considering Yankees fans, as a general rule, are complete akarmaists. Gloating about a big lead is just simply bad karma, and I don't want to tempt fate. I like our team a lot, and think we're going to win the AL East this year. (Gasp!) And yes, every Red Sox win and every Yankees loss makes me happy - not because I like to see the Yankees suffer, but because it means our lead is more and more secure. The most gung-ho about it that I'll get is my response to someone teasing me about whether I'm scared now - "Ask me that again when the Yankees are closer to 1st place in their division than Washington is."

I went to two Boston games at ~~Oakland~~McAfee Coliseum a few weeks back just so I could say I actually attended a game or two in this hopefully historic season. We lost both games pretty easily. (Yes, we lost the first one in extra innings, but we all knew Terry Francona wasn't too interested in winning when he paraded out Joel Piniero, J.C. Romero, and Kyle Snyder in order in a close game.) In fact, Schilling had to pitch an entire game himself just to keep us from getting swept. I should have felt upset at their performances, but I just can't. They're too lovable.

They're a great team to watch, especially since they have so much fun playing the game. They have a ton of chemistry, unlike another certain unnamed team that is pretty much a collection of All-Stars. It starts from the top, with Manny Ramirez selling pretty much anything he can get his hands on and grooming his teammate in the dugout and David Ortiz hugging the other teams' players, on down to Mike Lowell wanting to start up Manny's blog and Julian Tavarez.. well, where to start? Wearing a "Manny Being Manny" T-shirt? Dreaming of being a porn star? Even long-time announcer Jerry Remy is getting into the act, pulling a little air guitar on the air with predictable results and playing Zapruder in the case of the flying pizza. This clip is just about the funniest Red Sox-related thing I've seen all year. Enjoy. I know I am.

Part 1:

Part 2:

If Corporations Were Allowed To Vote On All-Stars

2007-06-21T13:44:00.000-07:00

My office drinks a fair amount of Diet Pepsi, and in the latest batch, I noticed that one can had a baseball player on it, as part of an All Star Game tie-in. A few names sprang to mind: A-Rod, Griffey, Ordonez, Ichiro, Fielder, Bonds... not all of them leading in votes, but at least close. But no, upon closer inspection, the name of the player on the can is...Johnny Damon.
In fact, of the three cases of Diet Pepsi we got in this week, the number of cans with a baseball player other than Johnny Damon on them is: zero. I mean...really? Johnny "ninth in All Star voting even though he's on the Yankees" Damon? Johnny "one place above J.D. Drew" Damon?
When we go to the MLB site listed on the can, all is revealed: "Check out Pepsi's new MLB-themed commercial featuring Johnny Damon and Joe Mauer," a caption under a completely different video entreats us. I guess I can figure out who else is on the other Limited Edition cans.
Meanwhile, if this Damon can ever becomes valuable, we've got like a hundred of 'em here.

Kobe Bryant is a Spoiled Rich Girl

2007-06-19T15:54:00.000-07:00

I had a dream the other day... Okay, it was after lunch this afternoon as I was daydreaming about things I could be doing if I wasn't where I was, which was in the office.

In the dream Kobe Bryant was being chased by Scooby and the gang, who were dead set on finding the reasons behind his abnormal behavior.

'I want to be traded!'

'Well, maybe not!'

'Bring back Jerry West and I'll be Happy!'

'Never mind! I hate you all! Trade me! Trade me! Trade me!'

When Scooby and company finally caught up with Kobe, Fred reached out and pulled on Kobe's face. SCHLOOP! The mask came off!

Underneath it was Paris Hilton.

Yes, Kobe is a spoiled, rich girl whose never known what it's like to go through a down time. I have a hard time feeling sorry for someone who already has 9 All Star appearances and 3 championship rings before he hit the age of 30. And now! Oh no! He may have to suffer the indignity of playing through a REBUILDING PROCESS! Poor, poor Kobe! Let's all feel sorry for him now!

I have some sympathy--SOME--for the great players who ask to be traded in the twilight of their careers to get one last shot at that ring. Guys like Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, Ray Bourque, or Cris Carter. Guys who never got that ring (though I have more respect for guys like Marino, Reggie Miller, or John Stockton who stick it out with their teams without crying about never getting their chances).

If I were Mitch Kupchak I would trade Kobe.

To the Mnnesota Timberwolves, for Kevin Garnett.

They could make a Simple Life-like reality show out of it where Kobe would find out what it's like to REALLY have to rebuild and play for a team that REALLY has incompetent management.

And This Is Why He's Playing Basketball

2007-06-18T09:42:00.001-07:00

I have to admit that the idea of the 11-foot rims in basketball intrigues me. But that in itself is not enough to justify a Three and Out post (you may have noticed that very little sports news meets our exacting standards recently). Making fun of a minor league athlete? Hey, we can't fire up Blogger fast enough.

One of the players who came in for the exhibition game with 11-foot rims (and how were they selected, anyway? Volunteers? picked out of a hat? Happened to be wandering by? Kidnapped by Tom Newell and forced to play along with his dastardly scheme?) was an IBL player, who made an incisive observation on how the game changes when you raise the rim by a foot:

Dontay Harris, a 6-8 former Drake player now with the Tacoma Thunder of the International Basketball League, noticed an immediate difference in inside play.

"You can't just get the ball and turn around and drop it in," he said. "Now there's another eight inches to go. It's definitely a challenge."

It's no use asking whether he graduated from Drake, really, is it? (Just as it's no use asking whether I can dunk on a six-foot rim, let alone ten or eleven.) But really, we should be thanking Bob Condotta of the Seattle Times for selecting that particular quote. You just know he was sitting in the gym thinking, "I can't believe I have to cover this...wait, did he really say 'eight inches'? Oh, I am so using that."

They Put The WTF in the FTW

2007-06-17T21:28:00.000-07:00

Following up Friday's post about the Allen Park Cabrini softball team, a short note. Not only did they go out and win the championship, team stud Katie Osburn pitched another shutout, sealing the record for fewest runs allowed in a season (one). Oh, and she pitched a no-hitter, too. Her 12th of the year. Take that, Nolan Ryan! (Seriously, check out the "Cabrini by the numbers" section of the linked article--26 straight shutouts? a .730 average for their leading hitter? Crazy.)

But even though Cabrini went 35-0, it was only Osburn's 32nd shutout of the year. So counting the one game where she allowed a run (her ERA was 0.0435), there were two games where I guess she got the win but didn't finish. Well, she's coming back next year, so she'll have a chance to improve on those numbers. But Allen Park Cabrini is moving up to Division 3. I'm not sure whether to say "watch out, Monarchs" or "watch out, Division 3!" Maybe some of the players on the field behind Katie will actually have to shake themselves awake next year.

This Is Not Your Mother's Softball League

2007-06-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

When I was growin' up, softball was the game you played when you wanted to let the girls have fun too. The games were always low-key and high-scoring on account of the ball is huge and the pitches underhanded. Let us just say that defense and pitching did not figure highly into the team choosing. The pitcher, in fact, was anyone who could at least 75% of the time get the ball near enough the plate that someone could hit it.

That's not how they roll in Michigan, where up Battle Creek way, the Allen Park Cabrini high school softball team is advancing to the finals on the arm of Katie Osburn, who not only drove in the winning run in their 1-0 semifinal victory, but also pitched a one-hitter.

The only game of softball I ever played that ended 1-0 ended in the first inning after the second batter hit the ball and it rolled into the street and a truck flattened it.

But hey, lest you think this Katie Osburn is a one-game wonder, here's another stat for you. The Monarchs have allowed one run all season. That's 34 games. They've won 73 straight, and are (obviously) 34-0 this year. And what do you think Osburn's record is? If she were the Steve Carlton of her team (Carlton won 27 of the Phillies' 59 victories back in 1972), she'd be something like 15-0. But no, she's better than that. Her record is the same as the team's, 34-0.

Which means, for those of you keeping score at home, that over 34 games, Katie Osburn has started every game and surrendered exactly one run. That is some serious softball. I mean, I can't even imagine. I wonder if Katie would be willing to come out to Cali and pose as my daughter for the office softball game. That'd show those jerks over in Sales.

Ride The Horse That Got You There

2007-06-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

I'm done with NBA basketball. I've had a few friends ask me about what I thought about the Spurs or the Cavs-Pistons series, and my answer has been "Don't know, don't care." Yes, yes, I'm a Celtics fan, but falling to 5th in the draft was just the last straw; it's been brewing for a while. The game simply isn't fun to watch anymore. I don't know if it's the coaches or the fact that the players are uncoachable, but the Suns are the only team that are even vaguely pleasant to watch play. How can you win basketball games without a game plan? When your opponent doesn't have one either!

Last night me and a couple of friends happened to catch the end game 5 at a grinder place. The game was definitely compelling, but my logic kept guilting me about how terrible the spectacle was. LeBron, with two hands in his face, raining 20 footers.. wow, he nailed another one!.. wait, why is he having to force all these shots? Where are his teammates? I didn't see anyone on either team manage to take an open shot the whole 2OTs! This is the game of basketball now? I can appreciate LeBron's feats as impressive while still hating the game I see. I blame this on Simmons for pointing out the Cavs' game plan or lack thereof.

Anyway, Spurs will get another championship, and I'll be done. I've got my Red Sox. I've got my Patriots. Since pro seasons are 6 months long these days, I'll be pretty much set.

Regardless, I couldn't help modifying the "headline" photo on Deadspin this morning with a line from commenter Weed Against Speed. It's just too perfect, considering my love of cat image macros. And since I can't finagle a commenter account there, I'll just have to actually update our dying blog.

How Many Digits Does Eckstein Have Again?

2007-05-14T00:11:00.000-07:00

Flipping channels on Saturday afternoon, I happened across Fox's Phillies-Cubs broadcast just in time for this gem from our old buddy Tim McCarver: "I'll tell ya, Soriano's got a body as hard as high school algebra." Wait, what? Run that by me again? That's wrong on so many different levels; I'd rather not have to think about McCarver enjoying Soriano's hard body or likewise enjoying anything involving high school. Strikes me as a little ####. And really, was high school algebra really that hard? I mean, I didn't start having trouble 'til that calculus shit came along. He obviously had trouble in English class at least - just ask Brandon Arroyo or Bill Wakefield. He's got an amazing grasp of the English language and the game of baseball. Thankfully, the internets have graced us with videographic evidence on the youtubes. Watch how Darren Daulton uses his mitt like a glove!

Sometimes you just need another point of view

2007-04-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

So, "Rich" (see photo caption) Carlisle is out of a job now, probably for reasons that are largely not his fault (see: Artest, Ron; Jackson, Stephen; trade, bad and desperate). However, team president and master trade architect Larry Bird wants him to know that hey, it's not you, it's us: "He had a lot of ups and downs," Bird said. "With some of the problems we've had over the past few years, it's been tough on everyone. He's been awfully good for this franchise." Bird also said that Carlisle has the option to return to the team in another capacity.

"I asked him if he wanted to trade jobs," Carlisle said. "And that didn’t interest him."

Maybe Bird was thinking about something more like this.

Hey, we hear there's a job opening in Sacramento. Though in Carlisle's place, we'd be afraid to ask Ron Artest to "bury the hatchet."

Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

2007-04-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have to say up front that I like Mark Madsen. He went to school at Stanford, and plays for my favorite team. What's not to like?

He is joining the ranks of pro athlete/bloggers with a well-written blog that is an enjoyable look at life as a pro basketball player. The funny thing about the blog, though, is that it has Google ads on it.

I'm sure Mark didn't set up the site himself--he probably just posts. But there's very little traffic to the site (and not likely to be more as a result of this post), so the revenue he's getting from Google can probably be measured in dollars over months. Considering he made over $2 million this year, does he really need the extra ad revenue? Maybe he's just jealous at all the endorsements those other athletes are getting.

NCAA Evolution

2007-04-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

I was watching some rebroadcast of the 1990 UConn-Duke game from the Regional finals, which was coincidentally the first year I really started watching the NCAA tournament at the urging of my then-roommate. We picked teams (alternating choices, and giving the other person the first-round opponent, meaning each of us only picked 16 teams), and I picked UConn, I think because they had sent me an application to grad school once upon a time. Well, in the semifinal game against Clemson that preceded this one, UConn was down one with a second to go when Scott Burrell launched a full court pass to Tate George, who caught it on the opposite baseline, spun, and buried a jumper to win the game. That moment made me an NCAA Tournament fan.

The UConn-Duke game was similarly thrilling, going to overtime before being decided on Christian Laettner's buzzer-beater (his less famous one). What I noticed in watching this game over again was that both teams ran a very simple offense: get the ball to Laettner/Bobby Hurley/Tate George.

Compare that to the Ohio State-Florida game Monday night, which could have been an NBA game for the style of play. Even though OSU featured an NBA-caliber center, they spread the ball around a lot. Florida has five guys who can all score. Both teams ran a balanced offense that allowed them to score inside or out, and involved everyone. Has the game changed that much from 17 years ago? I think so, considering that the Duke team that beat UConn in a thriller ran into UNLV in the finals and lost to what was unquestionably the most talented roster in college basketball at the time. That kind of disparity doesn't really exist any more at the top tiers, not because of talent fleeing to the NBA, but because there is (I think) so much more talent at the college level. A school like Florida wasn't considered elite until their run last year; they will be now, because they'll continue to attract new talent. The explosion of media attention beyond just sports nuts has increased the pool of talented players, despite the most talented ones jumping to the pros as soon as they're allowed.

Note that all of this hasn't made the college game more interesting to watch, but then, I have trouble focusing through an entire NBA game as well.

And for your amusement, a mis-captioned ESPN.com photo (from DJ Gallo's Masters Preview, now corrected).

Apathetic All-Stars

2007-03-31T23:17:00.000-07:00

I recall, a few weeks earlier, when we had reached the regionals of the NCAA tournament, that if Florida and Ohio State ended up playing one another for yet another championship I would lose faith in humanity.

Despair 1, Humanity 0.

After watching the terrible end-of-game effort from Georgetown and UCLA sabotaging, for the second year in a row, a legitimate chance to beat, what I believe to be, an inferior team, left me sitting like a startled owl mumbling, "Ya Rly?" to myself over and over again.

And lo, a light from the heavens shone upon me and said, "Ya Srsly." Yes, we have EXACTLY the same final in basketball as we did in football. Does anyone else out there find that just the LEAST bit boring, if not suspicious? What are these two schools offering behind the scenes to potential recruits to get them to sign? What are the chances that this sort of matchup will ever happen again? Has it ever happened before? I'll admit, I'm so unenthused about the final matchup that I can't even bring myself to do a google search and find out. Someone else do it for me.

This has been the absolute worst NCAA tournament on record. Granted, I've only tasted oxygen for a quarter of a century myself, but there couldn't have been anything more boring than the highest seed in the regionals being, what, a 7? L-A-M-E.

Oh, and Mr. Noah? Cut your fricking hair. It looks like an Afro-Koosh doll threw up on your head.

Retro-inactive

2007-03-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

While scanning the details of the latest tilt between a couple of T&O's favorite teams, I ran across one of the first of many items we'll see a lot this year: "The Red Sox placed right-handers Matt Clement and Mike Timlin and left-hander Jon Lester on the 15-day disabled list, retroactive to March 23." No, I don't mean to say anything about the durability of Mike Timlin (though I remember him being part of the Blue Jays' championship teams some 14-15 years ago) or Matt "more durable than Kerry Wood and Mark Prior" Clement, but rather about the amusing practice of placing players on the disabled list and getting around the 15-day restriction by claiming that you actually placed them on the list a week ago, you just, what, forgot to tell people? "Geez, guys, I don't know what to say. Bob, the guy who does the lists, well, let's just say we're all thinking of getting him a PDA for his birthday. Sorry, we'll try to be more organized in the future."

They Fixed His Arms In The 2007 Version

2007-03-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

Finally, an NFL trade to get excited about! Philly sends DT Darwin Walker and a draft pick to Buffalo for former Bengal Takeo Spikes and former Brown Kelly Holcomb, who don't need position designators for me to know what they play.

Holcomb, remember, challenged Tim Couch (in Cleveland) and then J.P. Losman (in Buffalo) for starting position at QB--just the kind of experienced backup the Eagles need behind Donovan McGlass. And Takeo Spikes is a Pro Bowl linebacker who will only improve the Eagles' already-good defense, assuming he's recovered from the Achilles injury (he said "When next year comes it'll be that much better. I look forward to next year, I really do.") and oddly dislocated arms he apparently sported a couple years ago. What I'm not sure about is how much the loss of Walker will hurt them, but I feel like the Eagles got the better of this one, and the number of times I can say that about a trade one of my teams was involved in is rare enough to warrant a posting.

Let's Have Us A Good Time

2007-03-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

Gilbert Arenas has become this season one of the fan favorites in the NBA. If you want to know why, read this post. If you've ever wanted to know what a pro athlete thinks while playing, or how he reacts to the bizarre world of pro sports, read this post. If you hate Skip Bayless, read this post.

Gilbert is probably the first of many pro athletes to really embrace the internet, to reach out to his fans and the world at large and let them into his world. It helps that he's articulate, funny, and insightful, and that's a rare combination in or out of pro sports. For the last few years, I've wondered why more athletes don't keep a blog/journal. I don't because I can't imagine many people being interested in my life. But these people regularly perform in front of tens of thousands of people, who buy merchandise with their name on it and know more details of their career than they do the careers of close friends or family members. How can their private lives not be interesting to some people? I love reading awkward draft diaries with lines like "I went golfing a couple of times and saw some a bunch of movies. Daddy's Little Girls is a good one to check out." But Gilbert's blog is not just interesting, it's fun. And I think there have to be more funny, articulate, insightful athletes out there who are going to see his success and say, "hey, hang on, I can do that."

If Robert Smith were playing today, he would have a blog.

Please, Get All Up In Manny's Grill

2007-03-20T12:13:00.000-07:00

Manny Ramirez is apparently selling his AMAZING grill on eBay. =] I don't know about you, but I've always wanted to purchase a $4,000 game-used grill from a future Hall of Famer. I do have some concerns before I put in my bid though: will it only half-cook my burgers? If I have a big barbecue coming up, can I be sure it won't arrive a week late? Will it still work in October? I can see it now: serving half-cooked hot dogs and burnt burgers to my friends, I will have no other defense than to say, "Eh, my grill is being my grill."

See, This Is Why Some Teams Don't Advance

2007-03-19T13:41:00.000-07:00

You're supposed to stop the other team's player from getting to the basket, not give him a boost up! Oh, Winthrop. Your humanity was your undoing. Though I can see how it would be hard to resist plucky li'l Aaron Brooks. You just want something to go right for that guy, what with the Raiders trying desperately to draft his replacement.

Continuing a Proud Ivy League Tradition

2007-03-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

Having two schools on my resume means I'm rarely left out when it comes to tournament time.

Having one of them be an Ivy League school and the other a mediocre Big Ten school means I'm rarely left in when it comes to the second round. (Penn last won a first round game in 1994, when both of my schools made it to the second round. Bliss!)

Down 13 at the half of their opening round game against Texas A&M, Penn came back to take a 39-37 lead midway through the second half, an impressive enough achievement against the tough defense of Texas A&M. That was as good as it got, however; the Aggies went on a 10-0 run and Penn never got closer than 5 the rest of the way.

If you're going to be a fan of an Ivy League basketball team, Penn or Princeton is the horse to take. Since 1960, only four times has one of those two schools not been the champion (in 2002, they finished in a 3-way tie with Yale for the win; Penn ended up going to the tournament). Penn's best year was 1979, when they went to the Final Four and lost to then-Earvin Johnson's Michigan State Spartans (they also lost to DePaul in the consolation game, and for the record, Princeton also made the Final Four only once, in 1965, though they've had more tourney success and buzz recently).

You would think that my other school, being in the Big Ten, would have a shinier record, but largely what that gets them is a better seeding and therefore a chance to win the first round game before losing the second. Minnesota's best year was ~~1997~~ 1990, when they went to ~~the Final Four~~ the Elite Eight as a six-seed.

But hey, I managed to slip out of work long enough to be watching the game when Penn took the lead. I have a nice little 2007 tournament memory, and considering my schools, not a bad one. Now I can just root for my bracket.

There's Insurance, And Then There's Desperate Sucking Chest Wound Staunching

2007-03-09T11:02:00.000-08:00

I've been following NFL free agency moves with some bemusement, as none of my teams seem particularly interested in improving that way. Nothing worth commenting on really, until this morning. Not to steal Freelancer's thunder, but Dominic Rhodes going to the Raiders prompted this amusing line from ESPN:

The six-year veteran will serve as an insurance policy for the Raiders, in the event incumbent starter LaMont Jordan does not bounce back from the medial collateral ligament injury that limited him to nine games in 2006.

Bounce back? To what, exactly? That 2005 season looks more like a blip than a trend. And even if he doesn't bounce back, the history of successful Colts running backs continuing their success on teams with crappy running games is, well, less than inspiring.

And by the way, when did Dominic Rhodes become "Dom"? Has he always been that to Indy fans, and by stepping onto the wider stage, bumped up his intimacy level with the rest of us? Or is this a recent reinvention, a la "Mike" Vick, to show that he wants a starting job...you know, doesn't want to be a sub any more?

Why Don't You Trust Me Enough To Let Me Avoid You?

2007-02-24T12:56:00.000-08:00

It's seemed rather pointless to weigh in on the whole Tim Hardaway thing, given that it's been, shall we say, adequately covered in the media. However, if you didn't catch Scoop Jackson's interview with Timmy over on ESPN Page 2, it provides an interesting coda. Tim echoes a sentiment first expressed by LeBron James in reaction to Amaechi's coming out: it's a "trust issue." "With teammates you have to be trustworthy, and if you're gay and you're not admitting that you are, then you are not trustworthy," James said. Hardaway uses almost exactly the same language: "But if a guy, like they say, is in the closet and decides to come out of the closet years down the line, you feel that your friendship, him being a teammate, being a part of a team, which in a lot of ways is like being part of a family or fraternity, has been betrayed. You feel like you've been double-crossed. We were in battles together, we were in the trenches together, how could you not tell me?" (italics his).

LBJ's comment was given some scrutiny, Hardaway's somewhat less (apart from Deadspin's calling him a "gleefully unapologetic moron," which I think gets to the heart of the matter). Here's the thing that bugs me about that comment coming from Hardaway, LBJ somewhat less (but only because I don't know how LBJ really feels): they say that hiding that part of your life is a betrayal of trust, that a teammate should be honest with his teammates. By doing so, they're trying to deflect the blame onto the victim. See, if only he'd been open, there'd be no problem. It's his fault for keeping it a secret. That is, pardon my French, a load of crap. What that comment really means is, Holy shit, if I'm gonna be showering with these guys and going full-contact in practices, I want to know if any of them is thinking about my junk. That isn't a "trust issue." It's a homophobia issue. It's LBJ and Hardaway thinking that if they have a gay teammate and don't know it, that means they can't take some measure to "protect themselves" (perhaps thinking of Chris Kaman, below).

Hardaway mentions a friend who felt "violated" after a friend of his came out several years later. Violated? Because, what, this guy was gay near him and he didn't know? Get a clue, morons: your teammate's sexuality is nothing to do with you. I don't know how much plainer it can be than that. It's his decision to tell you or not. It's part of his private life. And the fact that John Amaechi didn't feel comfortable telling any of his teammates--even the ones who guessed--tells you that he didn't want to live with the awkwardness and the homophobia that would inevitably arise from his revelation. It tells you that he didn't trust his teammates to accept that part of his life, that even though they were "in the trenches" together, he didn't feel comfortable sharing his sexuality with them.

That, boys, is your trust issue. So quit blaming the gay teammates who know that coming out will only result in hard times from you and your friends. Understand that you're the ones standing in the way, be a man, and grow the hell up.

* To be fair to Hardaway, although he remains fairly homophobic, he does say that this experience taught him a lot about gay people, like that "they work hard, they do things in the community, they are responsible for building parks, rec centers, providing safe environments for kids, just things I had never associated with them before." Baby steps, Tim. Baby steps.

Jesus, I Just Had The Weirdest Dream

2007-02-21T16:43:00.000-08:00

Whoa! Sorry, I must've dozed off for a minute there. Hey, you wanna hear something funny? You're gonna laugh. I dreamed the Chargers hired me to be their head coach.

I was talking to my wife last night about how disappointing it was to lose out on the Dallas job, and I said, You know, Nancy, if only San Diego had fired Marty, Wade would've gotten that job and I might've gotten another shot in big D. So I guess that's where the dream came from. Oh, hi, Nancy. You remember that conversation, right? You told me not to worry, I'd get my chance again. Well, did I ever!

So in my dream, okay, Dean Spanos calls me up and says, "Hey, Norv, we fired Marty and we want to interview you for the job." It's funny because we were talking on the phone, but it was like he was right in the next room, you know? So I walk out of my office and suddenly I'm in San Diego, and Dean's telling me how much he respects my coaching record and my ability to get along with anyone, even his prick of a GM, and what he really wants is just someone who won't run his team into the ground next year. Well, it's a dream, so I say, "Sure, I can promise you that." I mean, what the hell, right?

Then next thing I know I'm buying donuts at Winchell's on my way back up north, because they have kick-ass donuts, and Dean calls me on my jelly-filled donut and says, "Norv, you got the job." I know! I was so happy I didn't want to wake up. I told the guy at Winchell's that I was the new coach of the Chargers, only I wasn't in Winchell's any more, I was at that place in San Diego right outside the stadium, what's it, Gold Donuts or something, and the guy behind the counter was LaDainian Tomlinson. He shook my hand and said, "Don't worry, Coach, as long as you can keep the team together we'll be fine."

I really appreciate you all coming out to hear about my dream. Someday I will be up here talking about my new head coaching gig. You all have Norv Turner's word on that, and I deliver on my promises, at least 41.1% of the time.

The Offseason

2007-02-20T17:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's officially the NFL offseason, NBA had a mini break for the All Star Game, and baseball hasn't fired things up yet. So that leaves us with... Golf? NASCAR? Hockey? Regular season college hoops?

I had to take this past week off simply because there wasn't much worth posting about. And I wasn't the only one struggling for things to talk about. These slow times can be among the most amusing to listen to sports radio because I get a chance to listen to the hosts--hosts collectively charged with filling up 24 hours of air time with interesting topics--struggle and struggle mightily.

Last week I listened to ESPN Radio's LA affiliate fill the air with the following two topics (before they were graciously saved by the questionable hiring of new Chargers coach Norv Turner):

Andy Ried - Was he doing the right thing by taking just one month off? Or should he have taken an indefinite leave? One guy argued that he should stay out as long as it took to help reform his 20 and 21 year old kids. Never mind the implications of the Eagles having to wait 2, 3, or even 6 months not knowing if or when they'd get a coach back (though I'm guessing Ron Rivera would interview for the job if need be), or the fact that it's awful easy to make arguments like this when it's not your job, your money, or your family involved. Would he tell a minimum wage bartender that he should take an open-ended leave of absence to look over his adult children if they were arrested?

Tim Hardaway - What was there to say that hadn't already been said? Yes, Hardaway looked ridiculous. No, his apology didn't come across very sincere. So ESPN Radio's LA affiliate's take? Should African Americans, who have a long history of being prejudged and discriminated against, be more mindful of pre-judging and discriminating against others? Sounds like an interesting take, except... well, we've all been discriminated against at some point or another for being too tall, too short, too smart, too dumb, too ugly, too pretty, too gay, too straight, too black, too white, too Mexican, too Asian, too liberal, too conservative, too thin, too heavy, too rich, too poor, too this, and/or too that. Yet we all keep discriminating against, prejudging, and hating people for nit-picky and irrational reasons. So why should African Americans need to be 'more mindful' of making open states of hate when non-African Americans get off the hook?

Daytona

I suppose it wasn't a complete void of a week for real sports. The Daytona 500 was run this past Sunday and Kevin Harvick squeaked out a thrilling and controversial finish as several cars, two semis, and a Boeing 757 were involved in a giant crash behind them.

Good race.
Fun finish.
Wake me up in a couple months when the Nextel cup visits Bristol.

I used to follow NASCAR religiously, though that was back in the day when I had a driver whose fortunes I lived and died with. Mostly died. That's probably not the best choice of words, because he didn't die, he just doesn't do much racing anymore. It's a lot more interesting if you are pulling for one guy over the course of a season. Things changed a couple years ago for me when top teams went from picking drivers who'd earned their way to the top from years of driving lower-end equipment to picking them based on their fresh faced marketability. It's kind of like the trend that the NBA went to a few years ago with the addiction to high school phenoms over known commodities. At about the same time, NASCAR started going away from its roots, taking races away from unique and challenging courses like Darlington, Rockingham, and Martinsville, and giving them to achingly dull, cookie cutter tracks like Texas, Las Vegas, or the worst offender of them all, Fontana. Drivers like the tracks more, and why wouldn't they? They're wide, fast, and boring. Give me Talladega, Daytona, Watkins Glenn, Infinion, and Bristol. You can keep the rest.

Great Minds Think Alike

Or at least, almost alike. In his Monday Morning Quarterback column this week, Peter King's 'Factoid of the Week that May Interest Only Me' had to do with who would face Indianapolis when the NFL regular season kicked off on September 6th. Well Pete (if I can call you that), it doesn't just interest you, but it interests me as well! He listed the same 3 potential opponents I did, along with much of the same rationale behind his picks. His order was slightly different though (Me: Saints, Patriots, Broncos; Him: Saints, Broncos, Patriots).

Speaking of the Broncos...

The Rocky Mountain News is reporting a rumor that the Broncos may possibly send Jake Plummer, Tatum Bell, and their #1 to Houston for the eighth overall pick in the draft so they can draft Adrian Peterson. I am guessing that the source for this rumor is a 12 year old die-hard Broncos fan because it has all the earmarks of a trade that heavily favors the Broncos and doesn't make sense at the same time...

1) The Texans already have a running back who couldn't cut it with Denver. His name is Ron Dayne. Is Tatum Bell a big upgrade?
2) Can you tell me how Jake "Arm Like Cannon, Brain like Goldfish" Plummer is an upgrade over David Carr?
3) The Broncos have prided themselves over the past decade of finding diamonds in the rough at running back, making stars of undrafted free agents and late round draft picks. Why would they change that trend to go after Adrian Peterson? (well, I suppose they'd be okay with that if all they had to do was jettison two guys they were probably going to cut anyway)
4) Think the Texans fans, after passing on both Reggie Bush and Vince Young, are going to accept cast-offs from Denver for the privilege of moving down 13 spots in the draft?

Now Playing

The iPod Randomizer says: Everclear's "Blackjack" from Slow Motion Daydream. I still think Everclear's later stuff (SMD, Songs from An American Movie 1 & 2) are very underrated

Stick it to 'em!

2007-02-18T22:53:00.000-08:00

From the Deadspin recap, it looks like this All-Star game's festivities were a lot of fun (also see the dancing with Shaq segment and video. They failed, however, to provide video of the awesome Dwight Howard dunk they gush over, so we are here to help. It really is pretty amazing, not just the height, but the marketing gimmick. How many things with that sticker/image on it you think will sell this week?

Like Rats Leaving a Sinking Ship

2007-02-16T12:09:00.000-08:00

So now Peter Forsberg has left Philadelphia-- a trade necessitated by his unwillingness to sign an extension, so it was get something now or get nothing later. I am fine with it; he is a great player and was amazingly fun to watch, but he wasn't going to sign and it isn't like the Flyers are going to the Cup with him this year anyway... and it does fit the "winter of our discontent" in some ways. Webber, Iverson, Forsberg...

It is hard not to compare it to the Allen Iverson trade, even though the whole situation is pretty different. AI had started here, been the "heart" of a gutless franchise (with one blip there at the start of the century), and was a high profile guy. Forsberg, for all the 'might-have-beens' and bizarro Lindros connection, was a big hockey figure, but came here with a quarter tank of gas and bad feet. He never made the leap to being a high-profile guy, despite the big C on the sweater. Might be because hockey isn't big nationally and on some level you can feel that millions of kids around the world own AI jerseys, and know the 76ers because of it, but Forsberg never felt like a world-class talent.

The other thing is Forsberg was never loved here. Respected, yes. It is probably the Philadelphia Fan requirement that players look like they are trying. It is hard for a smooth looking player to get any love in Philadelphia. I think Dr. J is the only one who ever pulled it off. It might be a defense mechanism, based on having losing franchises. You don't have a champion to root for, so you look for some other quality. It is easy to see if someone looks like they are trying.

"I don't care about the winning, it is the effort!" is actually a pretty admirable stance to take, and, arguably, what we are supposed to learn from sports: Effort pays off.

Tournamemories

2007-02-14T13:21:00.000-08:00

I've been a huge fan of college basketball since I was young. 10 years ago, John Calipari, Marcus Camby, Lou Roe, and UMass were having an amazing 6 year run on top of the college basketball world, and being a town or two over, I fell in love with the team. I remember being awed when my father, who cashiered at the Stop & Shop nearest the campus, told me he'd rung out Derek Kellogg's purchases one day. I mainly knew giddiness as I watched the highlights of wins roll up on SportsCenter and heartbreak as we never quite made it to the title game. I cried when George Washington broke up our undefeated season in 1996.

However, nowadays I realize that UMass won't likely be featured in national prominence for another decade or so. Thankfully, the NCAA tournament is always completely riveting. It started with me rooting on Old Dominion's 1995 triple-overtime win against Villanova, continued through being enthralled at Valparaiso's 1998 win over Mississippi, Gonzaga's Sweet 16 runs, Vermont's 2005 upset of Syracuse (Sorrentine nailing a 3 "from the parking lot"), and to today, where mid-majors are shaking things up. I love it. More parity, please!

Poking around YouTube, here are my favorites from the 2006 tournament:

Obviously, George Mason reaching the Final Four was massive. If I could get this game as a DVD I'd buy it; I'd love to watch it again. It was thrilling watching George Mason run their methodical half-court offense, take their time and chip away at UConn. Amazing, edge-of-your-seat basketball.

Another amazing finish was the West Virginia-Texas game. Two threes back-to-back? Just killer. What a buzzer-beater.

By far the greatest, though? Northwestern St. over Iowa. I've watched this clip at least 10 times and I still have no idea how the shot went in. There's just.. no reason for the shot, but it did, and it was awesome.

As you can tell.. I'm catching March Madness a little early. Can we just fast-forward a few weeks?

When I Heard The News, I Bought A Sandwich This Big

2007-02-11T10:11:00.000-08:00

And how must it feel to be Norv Turner now, turned down in favor of a guy who's 0-3 in the playoffs (with, it must be pointed out, a 48-39 record as a coach as opposed to Norv's 58-82-1--but Norv has a playoff win! And one loss, not three)? As an Eagles fan, I have to say that really, Jerry Jones couldn't have made a wrong choice here. Is it wrong to be giddy over the prospects of the next two years? Now we just need to get Denny Green in the Washington job...

Basketball Bloggaries

2007-02-09T23:27:00.000-08:00

It's time for the first little bit of college basketball talk we've had here at Three and Out. I'm a huge fan of college ball, and almost all of it is watchable - especially when Duke or North Carolina are losing. I grew up very close to the University of Massachusetts, so I'm a default fan of them; it was real exciting growing up to be following the best team in the land. Unfortunately, it didn't last very long. (Though we're having another good year finally, and leading the weak A-10 for the first time in a long time.) I went to RIT, but they don't have much in the way of sports outside their men's hockey team. As I alluded to, my favorite sports days of the year are the four days of the NCAA tournament leading up to the Sweet Sixteen. It's a true free-for-all, and with so many games going on at the same time, so many amazing stories and Cinderellas. It's riveting.

With that in mind, let's take a quick conference-by-conference look at what's going on in the world of college ball:

ACC: The top two teams in the league are currently unranked and not Duke or UNC. That's news in and of itself. All the teams pretty much beat up on each other, which is good considering most of them have little in the way of redeeming qualities. (Big ACC fan here, no?) Boston College, the top team right now, lost to Vermont earlier in the year. This of course is a sure indicator that our national champion will come from the ACC. That's how these things work, you know.

Big East: It's not easy for a 16-team league to have an off-year, but the Big East is managing it with only 3 ranked teams; of course, they'll get 8 in the tourney somehow. Mike Tranghese must have some dirt on the committee members or something. Connecticut, who was at one point was 11-0 by merit of beating illustrious competition such as Texas Southern, Coppin St., and Sacred Heart, is now sitting in 11th place. They'll probably make the tourney too.

Big Ten: I gotta tread lightly here, because for some reason everyone else here either went to or grew up near Big Ten schools. With that in mind, everyone in this conference sucks except Wisconsin and Ohio State, and the Mountain West Conference should get more bids than the Big Ten. (Am I going too easy on them? Let's move on.)

Big 12: A little shakeup is here too as little-known Texas A&M seems to be the most dominating team in the conference along with Kansas. Kevin Durant-led Texas is struggling somewhat, hindered by the fact that one person can't really carry a team, especially if the person can't play good defense yet. (Do we still want him over Oden, Simmons? Really? Ricky Davis version 4.0?) A resurgant Kansas State is making some noise too, but their play will probably start to falter once Bob Huggins' recruiting violations take hold and players start shooting each other on the court.

Memphis USA: Yeah.

Missouri Valley: Is this really a major conference now? Really? Ok, well, Southern Illinois knocked out Virginia Tech, Missouri State took out Wisconsin, and.. you know what? No. No, too soon. Give it a few years. Look what happened to the A-10.

Pac-10: The strongest conference by far this year is the Pac-10. However, being the Pac-10, they'll have one team reach the Sweet Sixteen and get knocked out by Air Force, so take that as you will. They're all capable of beating each other on any given night, but nobody on the east coast knows or cares considering they play so late. And the Californians are too content to watch the games, and cliche cliche cliche. Keep an eye on Oregon St. and Arizona St., whose only conference wins have been against each other; they should be vastly improved by the draft next year. Oh, there's no draft? Guess they're fucked.

SEC: Vanderbilt, hoops powerhouse? Sure. Why not. Florida's still in control, but they're not getting much in the way of competition. Final Four team and once top ten member LSU has fallen to dead last despite having Baby Shaq. (His Baby Kobe left him for a career showboating in the NBA and trash-talking the Slam Dunk contest.) Tennessee, likewise, has fallen off the face of the earth, while Kentucky rose from the dead to.. well, get beat by Vanderbilt at home.

Miscellaneous: No one's talking about Duquesne, who despite always inept and having 5 players shot in the preseason, is now 10-11 and on a 5 game win streak. How? By implementing a unique strategy with a constant full-court press, a 11-man rotation who all play at least 10 minutes a game and no more than 30, and an offense that always takes the first available shot. They've averaged 98.5 points per game over their last six games. I imagine their games would be highly entertaining.

Everyone talked about Iona being the last winless D-I team, but now there's another team even more inept; North Florida, whose two wins are both against inferior D-II competition. Congrats on your Savannah State Award for Incredible Ineptitude for 2007!

And now, I leave you with the best college dunk of the year.

And the First NFL Game of 2007 Will Feature...

2007-02-09T15:28:00.000-08:00

In a tradition that dates all the way back to 2004, the NFL kicks off the regular season on a Thursday night with a home game for the defending Super Bowl Champions. If that long-standing tradition continues, the NFL will kick off the 2007 regular season in the RCA Dome with the Colts playing an as-yet-undetermined opponent. When I first looked at Indy's home-field opponents for 2007, it looked obvious who the opponent would be: New England. It'd be just like 2004, when the Colts and Patriots did a replay of the previous season's exciting AFC Championship game.

But I'm about to pull a John Kerry and flip-flop on my guess.

I now believe it will be the Saints visiting the Colts for the What-If Bowl to open the season. The storyline is built in: What if the Saints had knocked off the Bears in the NFC Championship game? Reggie Bush! Drew Brees! Who knows if New Orleans will be a contender again in 2007-2008, so the NFL will schedule this game early while the buzz is still hot.

The Patriots are the second most likely team to play the season opener, but I have a feeling the NFL knows that the Colts/Patriots game will be a ratings grabber whether it's the first game of the year or it's going up against American Idol or is being played at 3 o'clock on a Tuesday morning. Why waste Indy/New England on a game that will already have a built in audience?

If it's not the Saints or Patriots, look for the Broncos to be visiting the RCA Dome on that Thursday night. Maybe the two equine squads don't have the same draw as Indy/New England does, but they've had several pretty exciting match ups in the past several years.

What to censor?

2007-02-07T16:32:00.000-08:00

Just skimming LZ Granderson's article on the whole John Amaechi coming-out party, and noticed, curiously, that ESPN's auto-censor applied to the comments (which replaces naughty words with "####") appears to be triggered by the word "gay." I assume that's because the majority of commenters would use it in the colloquially perjorative sense ("that's so gay"), but in an article on a gay athlete coming out? Leading to comments like: "Maybe its time for a #### NBA player to come out as a rolemodel for other young ####/lesbian atheletes." Of course, the commenters noticed. The fact that ESPN is promoting this story would be pretty cool if their internal values reflected that same consideration consistently.

24 Hours Later

2007-02-05T14:32:00.000-08:00

I'm back in LA now, having hitched a ride with Lance this morning. I've only had about 10 hours of sleep in the past 3 days, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to form many coherent thoughts. But I'll give it a shot...

The Game
I have to agree with the Doc: In a way, the game was anticlimactic. Even when the clock was ticking down to zero, something seemed missing. I guess I expecte it to be some magical moment, when all of life's problems would be solved. Wars would end, disputes would be resolved, famines would end, and economic disparity would be erased. Doc's on to something with the Patriots game. The win over the Pats was HUGE. Want to know what it felt like for Indy fans? Watch this. Beating the Pats was throwing the ring in the volcano, while the Super Bowl was kind of like the rest of 'Return of the King': A long, long wait that just couldn't quite top the climactic moment from two weeks earlier. But don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I think there's something else going on though. I was sick of seeing my team lose games they were supposed to win. They were supposed to beat the Patriots in 2004 but got clobbered 20-3. They were supposed to beat the Steelers last year but choked. They were supposed to beat the Titans in 2000 and couldn't win then either. I watched the Super Bowl yesterday fearing yet another loss in a game that my team was supposed to win. As a result, I think I ended up fearing a loss than I did savoring a win. It's a subtle difference, but it may explain why after the game I felt more relief than elation.

MVP
I'm not as upset about the selection of Manning as others. My own pick was Dom Rhodes, but as the MSNBC's Sunny Wu pointed out, Rhodes and Addai sort of cancelled each other out in MVP balloting. Addai had more all purpose yards and weakened the Bears front, but Rhodes had the TD and the big second half run to put the Colts deep in Bears territory. As it was Manning kind of won by default, as picking the QB of the winning team seems to be the default strategy for picking an MVP when no one player stands out.

It's just too bad that there has to be one single MVP and whatever committee decides the award can't say 'The Co-Winners were Addai, Rhodes, Manning, Sanders, the Offensive Line, and the Defensive front 7', because you could make a compelling case for any of them. I was glad to see Rhodes get included in the Disney World commercial with Tony Dungy though. When Edgerrin James went down with a knee injury a couple years back, it was Rhodes who stepped in and picked up 1,000 yards as an undrafted rookie.

Black Sunday
One of the big stories this week was that both Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy were African Americans. Some would argue that the story was overplayed. Most of those 'some' were white guys. There was even a spattering of groans at the party when Dungy commented in the post game about the significance of being the first African American coach to win the Super Bowl.

But an interesting thing happened. After the game, an African-American friend of mine called me to congratulate me on the Colts. During the conversation, he mentioned how proud he was of Dungy being the first African coach to win the Super Bowl. To him it mattered. To him it meant something that an African American coach won the Super Bowl. So, while it's easy for white guys to think that the whole black-coach-wins-Super-Bowl story was inflated by the media, it's really not a white guy's place to decide the importance of the issue.

* (Asterisk)
Conventional wisdom heading into the playoffs was that the Colts would go only as far as Peyton Manning could carry them. With their Historically Bad Defense (TM), Larry Johnson, Jamal Lewis, and Ladanian Tomlinson were expected to total about 500 yards each. That is, assuming Manning could put up 70 points per game to keep up with the monster running backs.

History has proven conventional wisdom to be wrong. One would say it was Historically Bad Conventional Wisdom (TM). The defense stuffed Larry Johnson, neutered Steve McNair, gave up only a few bad plays against New England (the Special Teams did not help out the Defense much in that game, giving up huge punt and kick returns), and forced turnovers against Chicago. We at Three-And-Out do not have a statistics bureau, but I'd have to guess that Indy's defense was one of the higher ranking PLAYOFF defenses in the last 20 years.

So, how will History ultimately remember them? As the Swiss cheese unit from the regular season, or the hard-hitting, drive-stopping unit in the playoffs? I'm guessing there will be an asterisk in the record books. Yes, they were the statistically worst defensive unit to win the Super Bowl, but some time just after New Years Day, the entire squad went into a giant telephone booth and turned into Supermen.

Commercials
I didn't take notes on the commercials. Like most I found the crop this year to be sub-par at best. My three faves:

1) The Bud Hitchhiker ad: Probably one of those ads that's only good for a laugh the first time, but well done. The guy with the axe in the back seat exclaiming 'But he's got a CHAIN SAW!' was comedy gold.

2) K-Fed: I'll always give props to a person who can poke fun at himself.

3) Taco Bell's Lions: I actually liked the pre-Super Bowl ad better, where the lions make their move on the safari camp's dinner and ask 'Got any sour cream?', but the rolling rrrrr's was good too.

And 3 goats?

3) Salesgenie.com - It came across like spam email in Super Bowl Ad form. Get rich! Get great cars! And hot girls! But it was wasn't just the concept, but the execution. I couldn't keep track of who was who.

2) Topless men fawning over a Chevy. Just.... Eh. At first it looked like a play on the GoDaddy.com ad, showing topless men gyrating all over a Chevy and some punchline about how they were blatantly going for the female viewers. But the guys were, well, unattractive and wince-worthy. I'm still not quite sure what the point of the commercial was.

1) Snickers - Planes, Trains, & Automobiles has proven that the accidental male touching thing can be funny. But in PT&A it's funny because it seemed NATURAL. Two guys forced to share a bed who wind up cuddling in their sleep. The Snickers ad seemed equally UN-NATURAL. I mean, in what world does Man A see a candy bar sticking out of Man B's mouth and he's so hungry that he just starts devouring it? And then Man B lets him?! He doesn't slug him in the gut and say 'get your own!' If they were so worried about being 'unmanly', why were they playing Lady and the Tramp with the Snickers bar to begin with??

Condi
Condi Rice, when asked who she wanted to win the Super Bowl:
"Indianapolis. I'm fine either way. I like Chicago. I like Lovie Smith. I like Indianapolis. I like Tony Dungy. But, for me, I'd like Peyton Manning to get this done. Great quarterbacks ought to have the Super Bowl."

Condi & Peyton, sittin' in a tree...

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
After the game someone hooked up one of the new Nintendo Wii gaming systems. I hadn't seen one yet, but I have to say I was impressed. Not because of the games themselves though, which resembled a cross between an acid trip and a Mexican variety show. No, I was impressed because the system actually encourages physical activity. Jumping, arm waving, spinning, dancing, etc. Okay, maybe it's not going outside and playing soccer or jumping rope, but I think it's a big deal for a country that has seen its population get fatter and more lethargic.

And on that note, I'm going to call it a day

Now Playing on the iPod: Nothing. It's in the re-charger. I've been filling my ears instead with nonstop sports radio and absorbing the Colts-love.

Manic Monday Afterthoughts

2007-02-05T12:16:00.000-08:00

Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly satisfied and happy with the fact that a team I'm a fan of FINALLY wins the big one. I've had my share of upsets and failed chances since I started watching sports, so I certainly know what losing feels like. I just hadn't felt what it was like to truly win the big one until last night.

But you know what? I can safely say that I wasn't as stoked after the super bowl win than I was when Jackson picked off that Tom Brady pass and slid down to win the AFC championship. The game became an instant classic in a matter of seconds after the final buzzer sounded, and for good reason. I can't remember a game where I had so many heart attacks and became a walking commercial for Prilosec. While I admit to being mildly nervous in the first half of the super bowl, the Colts just took care of business so efficiently in the second half that there was never any real danger of losing the game.

I'm not complaining one bit. I'm just honestly a bit surprised at myself at how I can feel just... well, good, instead of ecstatic, about the super bowl win for the beloved blue and white. I guess I have New England to thank for ruining my total enjoyment of an all-out win even WHEN we beat them (now THAT'S a true rival). A lot of media reporters have grumbled about this being a boring super bowl, but as I was just saying, if only we could pit the two best teams against each other, instead of AFC vs. NFC, then we'd really end up with good games. Think about it! Just rank all the teams that make the playoffs, make a tree, and go, just like the good ol' NCAA tourney (for basketball, of course). We probably would've ended up with the AFC championship for the super bowl, and that would've been truly super.

Lingering thoughts about Miami:

1. No, I'm sorry Peyton, you are NOT the MVP. It's a tough one for me to answer even after that emphatic statement, as I really want three people to share the award- Joseph Addai, Dominic Rhodes, and Bob Sanders. If you'll remember, my pre-game prediction was that Joseph Addai would be an excellent rusher and check-down receiver for the Colts and would be MVP. He was the former, but not the latter, unfortunately. Dominic put on some red spandex and yellow lightning bolts near his ears and was absolutely fantastic as well. And Bob Sanders? Well, Indy would have a tough time being here, I think, if it weren't for him. He was huge, even though his stats may not have shown it- near a half dozen tackles, a forced fumble, and an interception, but I swear I saw number 21 near the ball almost every single play. Unlike Lay's potato chips, you CAN have just one when it comes to MVPs, so if I have to choose one, I have to give it to the defense- Bob Sanders. By the way, did anyone else notice that the only other player standing up on the podium with the Lombardi trophy besides Manning was Sanders? Obviously SOMEONE figured out, hey, this guy's kinda good. Or maybe he just snuck up there. He's only 5'8", after all.

2. We heard all week long how this game was going to be about Chicago D versus Indy O. Indy O was great and Chicago D wasn't. In fact, I think Archie, carrying favor with the New Orleans crowd, freelanced a witch doctor to poke needles into Chicago's front 4. Those guys were hemorrhaging holes Dan Klecko could've darted through. In fact, I'm surprised they didn't give the big guy an honorary carry since they seem to play "pin the tail on the offensive position" with him.

3. Chicago lost big on stats. REAL big. I think you've got to hand it to their special teams- if it weren't for them, the score would've actually shown the stat discrepancy.

4. No, I did not think 5 fumbles was exciting. In fact, it sucked, even though Indy got some of them back. That's just sloppy football, and sloppy and wild isn't as fun to watch as well-excecuted and skillful.

5. MVP for commercials? Easily Garmin's ad, mimicking a horrible Japanese Power-Rangersesque fight scene. Absolutely brilliant. Close second goes to Bud Light for the hitchhiker ad.

All in all it was an enjoyable evening, and for once, things went my way, as well as for Jim, who's been pining over the Colts for a ring even longer than I have. Congratulations to the entire organization, not just to Peyton or to Dungy, but to the entire team. It was an all-around team effort that won pretty much all of their playoff games, and I think the real story was definitely the entire defensive unit, who was incredible all post-season long.

Thanks to the Colts for an fitting end to another NFL season. I'm already looking forward to seeing how many Bengals players can get arrested next year!

Unspinning

2007-02-05T10:18:00.000-08:00

Congrats to the Colts for their first Super Bowl in twenty-seven years, and to the city of Indianapolis for their first major championship. Indy is the kind of city to whom you'd joke, "I like you no matter what Chicago says about you," because it'd be worried about that sort of thing. But I really do like it. Nice city, nice people, and really into their sports. I was there during one of the Pacers' playoff runs in the 90s, and at a supermarket, as I was checking out, the clerk said, "So how about that game last night?" It was assumed I'd watched it (I had), and we shared a happy moment remembering the Pacers' win.

In the aftermath of the Super Bowl, a few things keep coming up in the media that don't quite fit with our experience of the game (watching with an overwhelmingly pro-Colts crowd and two longtime Colts fans):

* Peyton Manning deserved the MVP. So says John Clayton, with Schlereth, Jaworski, and Theismann concurring in the sidebar. A popular joke, echoed in our home, was that Rex Grossman deserved the MVP--for the Colts, of course. And Peter King, of course, can't wait to jump on the bandwagon. Maybe they saw a different game than we did, or than Dan Shanoff (who picked our consensus, Dominic Rhodes, though I personally wanted Bob Sanders to get it). This is my favorite bit, from an AP article about why Manning deserved the MVP: "He led them on a drive to a field goal, then put them ahead when Dominic Rhodes scored on a 1-yard touchdown run. He expanded the lead by setting up Adam Vinatieri for two second-half field goals, and the defense took care of the rest with Kelvin Hayden's interception return for a touchdown." In other words--he didn't make any mistakes in getting the rest of his teammates in position to score. I guess the defense didn't get as much credit because the Bears' offense was supposed to be sub-par, right? Well, except for the running game, which was supposed to shred the weak Colts defense. How many first downs did the Bears record in the first half? Three? From the perspective that there wasn't really a single outstanding performance by a Colts player, I suppose you give the award to Manning by default, as the quarterback is always the most valuable player to his team, but we thought there were other worthy candidates this time around.

* Prince's halftime show was awesome. I guess. If you like that sort of thing. The best moment for me was laughing at the silhouette, first because it was clearly an attempt to make himself look taller ("I'm the biggest man in the world!") and then because of the startlingly blatant positioning of his oddly-shaped guitar.

* The game was boring. Granted, we were watching with Colts fans, but the rain made for terrific drama, and I don't find turnovers boring. If you thought this game was boring, as some did, even folks we like, then I don't know what you're looking for in a football game. Maybe some dramatic catches would have been nice, but come on. Compared to last year's, or 2004's snoozer between the Pats and Panthers, this was a great game to watch. It might not have matched up to the AFC Championship, but honestly, what could?

Special shout out to one of my favorite columnists, King Kaufman of Salon, who not only agrees that Rhodes should have been the MVP, and thinks the game was pretty entertaining, but doesn't mention Prince at all.

More Big Game Prognostications

2007-02-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

So, once again, it's time for the Super Bowl, the third most exciting sports day of the year, narrowly beat by the first Thursday of the NCAA basketball tournament.. and the first Friday of the NCAA tournament. Your trusty correspondant Arrowed is on top of things, though, with your spot-on Super Bowl preview:

They beat them earlier this year, so there's familiarity between our two teams, but the Patriots need to stick to their game plan against the Bears. Tom Brady needs to watch out for the Bears' Cover 2 and make sure he avoids interceptions, and..

Oh, you say the Patriots didn't win last week? Oh. Funny, I kind of blacked out after halftime for some reason. I'm not too torn up about it - though I would have been had the Patriots not won a whole bunch of Super Bowls recently. Honestly I think teams should be limited to two Super Bowls in a 5-10 year span - by the time Super Bowl $Roman_Numeral came around in 2004, I was openly not watching the Pats beating the Eagles because it didn't mean too much to me. The first one, in 2001? Yeah. I was sick with mono at the time, but that game filled me with so much nervousness and energy that by the time it was over I wanted to run a marathon.

As for the real Super Bowl, I'm somewhat disappointed in my fellow New England fans, who appear to have a solid majority rooting for the Bears today. For shame. New England seems to think that Indianapolis are our "rivals," which isn't quite true. As a Red Sox fan, I'd tend to think of "rivals" as "teams that beat us a lot," such as the Yankees, Broncos, and Canadiens. I suppose Pats fans figure that if Peyton continues to not have a ring, then we can feel secure that Tom Brady is the better quarterback. It's a valid point, but shortsighted. For football as a whole, it would be a disaster if the Bears, with their anemic offense, poor QB, and amazing defense won. It'd be like the neutral zone trap years in hockey all over again, where 1-0 and 2-1 games were the norm and bored everyone into watching something more exciting like Professional Paint Drying. (Look out - hockey reference! It's a sport played on ice kinda like curling mixed with basketball, or something like that.)

Honestly, I think the Colts can handle the Bears. This game is drawing comparisons (mainly from me and me alone) to the Ravens-Giants game of a few years back, and I'm pretty sure Peyton is a smidge better than Kerry Collins. I'm predicting a repeat of the 2003 Super Bowl - a low-scoring game to halftime, 9-3 or something like that, before a flurry of scores puts the final to 30-20 Colts, but the game won't be as close as the score indicates, much like the Colts-Ravens playoff game last month.

So, as the Freelancer noted, we're about to go have a big manly Super Bowl party which I'm sure will be filled with beer, grunting, self-scratching, nachos, yelling, and big-screen pregame shows. Or perhaps wine, fondue, tasty hummus hors d'oeuvres, and Puppy Bowl III. Ok, fine, but in my defense, Puppy Bowl is oddly riveting. Awww. Lookit those puppies..

Ok, nevermind, it is really sad.

The Morning of the Big Game

2007-02-04T10:27:00.000-08:00

The NFL must get first pick of the top law schools in the country, because I don't think anyone else, even top flight defense attorneys, could put the fear of God in someone more than the NFL does when it threatens a lawsuit for unauthorized use of the term 'S*p*r B*wl'. Actually, they seem to have put the fear of God in God himself, warning churches around the country against holding S*p*r B*wl Parties. The Churches, who even had the Bush Burnin', Sea Partin', City Smitin' Big Guy on their side, folded like.. like.. well, like I should have folded last night in poker, but I won't get into that.

Today is the morning of the Big Game. I'm up in San Jose (again) planning to watch the game with friends (again). Although this time I took a plane so it'll be a lot harder for me to go home in the middle of the second quarter with the Colts trailing 21-3.

We're actually having an unofficial Three-And-Out Super Bowl party today. Doc, Arrowed, Tim and I will all be here, devouring deep dish pizzas, breaded pork tenderloins, Orville Redenbacher popcorn, and Cincinnati Chili. Oh yeah, and some beer too. And Coke. And probably some nachos. And maybe some water.

We practiced our Big Game watching last night on an XBox 360, pitting the Colts against the Bears in Miami. Sort of. It wasn't an exact science because several players who were injured (Mike Brown, Cory Simon) or not actually on the rosters played. Actually, the game turned when non-actual-Colt Gerome Sapp intercepted Rex Grossman at the Bears 30, then started high-stepping and Leon-Letting at the 20, giving Thomas Jones enough time to catch him, strip him, and recover the fumble. The game was about as you'd expect a virtual game to be with the regular season Colts & Bears, with Bad Rex throwing 4 interceptions, but Bad Colts Defense giving up over 230 yards rushing to Thomas Jones alone. Final score: Bears win 47-41 in OT.

As for the real game? I'm not nearly bold or confident enough to predict a Colts blowout, but I think if the Colts 'play their game' (how's that for being vague and generic?), they should be able to win comfortably. Three predictions:

1) The Bears are hoping to go deep on one of their first three plays from scrimmage. They are expecting the Colts to put 8 in the box and will try to exploit Indy's left side cornerback, who will either be Nick Harper coming off of a high ankle sprain, or a not-as-good-replacement for Nick Harper in Marlin Jackson.

Personally, I think Harper will play. He suited up for the Pittsburgh Steelers game last year just days after being STABBED IN THE LEG. He won't miss the Super Bowl for a silly sprain. But if I'm Ron Meeks? I'm keeping the safeties in coverage the whole game and trust that the front 7 have finally gotten their stuff together when it comes to 'tackling'.

2) I felt re-assured to see Peyton Manning loose and casual when discussing his tango-dancing at the podium. I don't care what Dan Patrick says about Peyton not winning the big one YET, and I don't care what Manning says about not getting into monkeys on his back. When I saw that clip, I saw a Manning who no longer felt like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

3) The X-factor will be how well Joseph Addai takes care of the ball. The Bears need to create turnovers, but it's hard to strip the QB if they can't get to him and both Colts wide-outs are more than content to go to the turf before getting hit/stripped. And I get the sense that Manning has gotten his interceptions out of the way early in the post season. That leaves the rookie Addai to protect the ball on what will likely be a wet field. If he gets an Edgerrin James-like case of Fumble-itis, the Bears have a good chance.

But even then the Bears need a lot of breaks.

Colts 24, Bears 13

Trends we'd like to see

2007-02-02T16:24:00.000-08:00

The Giants (San Francisco version) have always been a little bit maverick in MLB--moving to the west coast, paying for a new stadium out of their own pocket, overpaying starting pitching (okay, maybe not so maverick on that one). Now here's another trend they're starting, and I hope it catches on: explaining their apparently boneheaded moves to their fans.

Okay, some of his explanations are a little head-scratching ("signing Barry to a one-year contract helped us pursue a long-term strategy toward getting the club back on track"), but his heart is in the right place.

More letters we'd like to see:

From Glen Taylor: "While I understand the miserable record Kevin McHale has compiled as GM of the Wolves, Kevin Garnett still likes him. So he stays."

From Scott Pioli: "When Bill [Belichick] told me to go ahead and let Vinatieri go, I swear to God I thought he was serious. I mean, come on. You try telling when he's being sarcastic. Christ."

From Gary Bettman: "...turning down ESPN to sign with the Versus network helps us pursue a long-term strategy toward getting the NHL back on track to overtake Arena League Football in popularity by the year 2013..."

Add your own letters below!

Good lord!

2007-02-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of Deadspin comes this story about a 7' 9" Chinese player joining an ABA team. I mean, holy crap! The ABA is still around??

Late to the Party

2007-01-31T20:26:00.000-08:00

It's been over 10 days since the AFC Championship game, so my self imposed ban from public comment on the game has officially been listed. It's not that I didn't think it was an amazing game (I did), and it's not like I'm not a huge Colts fan (I am), but I broke the cardinal rule of 'true' fans: I stopped watching the game after the Colts fell behind 21-3. I knew that if I started popping off right away about what a great comeback it was and how the Colts finally got past their nemesis, my evil twin (Arrowed) would call me on the carpet for being Mr. Bolts-when-things-look-Grim.

But c'mon. What Colts fan wouldn't turn the TV off? Manning looked jumpy and frustrated when the game was still tied at 0. And when he threw an interception to go down 21-3? Show of hands, who thought the Colts had ANY chance?

Yeah, thought so.

In my defense, I did at least tune in to listen to most of the game on a scratchy AM station as I drove back to Los Angeles. When the Colts pulled ahead late in the game I had to pull off the road. I was just too excited to concentrate on breathing, let alone driving. I'll always remember where I was the moment Marlin Jackson stepped in front of Tom Brady's last pass of the 2006-2007 season: At the intersection of I-5 and West Kamm Avenue in... Tranquility?... California? I can't say for sure. It was a virtually empty interstate exit ramp miles and miles from anything. Just me, a lone coyote, and a serial killer off in the bushes on the lookout for busty teenage co-eds to slaughter in cinematically interesting ways.

I spent the next 20 minutes parked there, listening to the post game festivities, calling friends and family and celebrating, FINALLY, a trip to the Super Bowl.

As for the Super Bowl? I have a bad feeling about it. Even though the defense has played decently the last three games, the spectre of the godawful regular season still hangs over them. And the one thing nobody seems to be talking about is the Bear's superb special teams play going up against a Colts team that seems to have at least one big special teams breakdown every week.

But then, I've always been a glass-is-half-empty kind of guy in sports. Following a team week to week, I'm more prone to notice the weaknesses (small linemen, untested pass defense) than the strengths (Hall of Fame QB, Hall of Fame WR, etc.). Plus as an underdog, there's always the 'out' of not being expected to win. I'm just hoping for a good game.

.
.
.

Okay, I'm hoping for a win, but I won't be devestated if they lose a well played game.

Now Playing on iPod Shuffle - The Refreshments - Broken Record : Best known for doing the King of the Hill theme song and that song that says 'your ID is Jean Luc Picard', the Refreshments were an underrated western-alt-pop-rock band from the late 90s.

The nasty side of football

2007-01-31T10:22:00.000-08:00

There's a great article over in SFGate about the consequences of a football career later in life. It focuses on the '81 SF 49ers, who began a dynasty with "The Catch" and the victory over the Cowboys in the NFC Championship game. It's a little distressing to me to hear about Joe Montana's persistent injuries--eye damage, knee damage, and he can't turn his head--considering how lively and happy he always looked.

How is Peyton Manning going to feel after taking every snap for the Colts for twelve years? How will Thomas Jones feel after years of being battered by defenders? How will Jeff Saturday feel after years of brutal collisions at every snap? They wear pads, and the players these days have better medical benefits than the '81 teams did, but the chance of avoiding chronic medical conditions arising from a pro football career is pretty low. 2 of 3 players interviewed for the article admitted to suffering chronic, near-constant pain, and this in a sport that prizes machismo and downplaying injury.

The other thing, though, is that nearly all the players said they wouldn't trade their career for better health. They are aware that what they are doing is rough, and will have consequences, but the rush of playing and the love of competition makes it worth it, to them.

So as you watch the Colts beat the Bears on Sunday (like how I snuck my prediction in there?), take a moment to appreciate what the players are giving up to play the game, and appreciate your own good health.

Barry Bonds Seeks To Join Sport Where Additives Are Encouraged

2007-01-30T13:31:00.000-08:00

In other miscellaneous Red Sox news, NASCAR team owner Jack Roush is in continued negotiations with Red Sox owner John Henry to sell part of the Roush team to Henry's Fenway Sports Group. Roush's team includes NASCAR drivers Matt Kenseth, Greg Biffle, Carl Edwards, and Jamie McMurray. The deal would likely result in marketing and sponsorship opportunities from the largely untapped northeast market, who care about NASCAR generally about as much as most people care about ESPN2's broadcasts of the National Spelling Bee or World Scrabble Championship. Additionally, it may result in one of Roush's cars being painted Red Sox colors, and maybe one of their drivers will don the Wally the Green Monster costume during the race. Who knows. Regardless, it'd be a win-win for both teams, considering NASCAR could have the Red Sox stump for them in the northeast and the Red Sox wouldn't have to revenue-share their NASCAR marketing earnings. Granted, first talk of negotiations between the two surfaced in February of 2005, and the latest article says it "could be a while" before the deal is finalized. So, maybe not.

And that's where I share my dirty secret - despite being from Massachusetts, I actually do enjoy NASCAR quite a bit. In fact, I like nearly anything that can be called sport and contains competition and winners. (Which rules out things like hunting and fishing - murder isn't quite sporting. Now, if the hunters got mauled every so often, that would be a much different story.) NASCAR is especially good as background on those lazy Sunday afternoons where I'm puttering around on the internet and completely wasting the remaining vestiges of my weekend. You don't really have to pay attention, and the times you do there's usually loud crashing sounds or the announcers get all excited. Those tight races and daring passes towards the end are, ok, exciting. I don't have a favorite driver or anything, so I default to my usual "root for the underdogs and newbies" rule. That means I get excited whenever anyone I haven't heard of is in contention, or relative newbies like Biffle, Edwards, and Denny Hamlin are doing good. And I've always had a soft spot for Matt Kenseth because he's a good driver and I feel like his 2003 championship, whose consistency apparently bored everyone into instituting the Chase, was unnecessarily disparaged.

So, if you're looking for sports coverage about sports you don't usually see blogged about, I'm your guy. There's some Super Bowl thing coming up and we'll probably be typing our thoughts on that over the next few days, so I'll probably take the time personally to research more into curling, badminton, and professional pillow fighting. I'll leave you with a little of what NASCAR hopes to bring to New England. Good luck, boys!

Super Ramblings

2007-01-29T19:12:00.000-08:00

As I was reading through the multitude of sports posts this afternoon, simulatenously hacking up branches of my lung brachioles I apparently didn't need and won't miss, I began to get that uncomfortable, queasy feeling in my stomach about the Colts matching up against the Bears. While 68% of Americans polled believe the Colts to be the favorites of the game, many columnists on a wide array of websites (re: SI.com, foxsports.com, espn.com, etc.) believe the Bears are going to hoist the Vince Lombardi trophy. Of course, we all know that so called experts are often wrong, and that when you get to the super bowl, nearly anything can happen.

Many of those who say the Bears will win all have the same tag-line: "Defense wins championships." Sure, it does. But offense does as well. If your defense is great and only gives up 9 points, but your offense barely gains 150 yards total, then you'll still probably lose. It will be interesting to see which quarterback lets their nerves rattle them more than the other; will it be Peyton, who needs to shake concerns that he'll end up being another Marino, or will it be Rex, who, let's face it, is a terrible quarterback and wouldn't be in this position if it weren't for his special teams and D helping him out.

So, gameplan? Since both teams play cover 2 defense (with the occasional shift to man or cover 1) by and large, there won't be many surprises as far as formations. Both teams usually drop a safety back deep in order to prevent long passes from happening. While Peyton obviously throws the better long ball, Rex has tossed up a few this year that have been excellent throws and his receivers have excellent hands. Bernard and Mushin have caught some crazy stuff this year, and Reggie and Marvin typically run excellent routes and have an easier ball to catch if they beat their man. But the real story this year I think will be the check-down and the tight end play. Chicago typically does not employ slot formations for 3 WR sets, Indy does. Desmond Clark usually comes off the line and with Freeney and Mathis coming from the ends, he won't be too far down field for Rex to pitch to. Clark, on the other hand, lines up in the slot position quite often for Indy, and is very athletic for a tight end. He's been able to run slant routes over the middle quite well against previous opponents, but then there's the problem. Urlacher could end up shutting down Clark over the middle, and if Chicago goes with man, then it will probably be Ricky Manning Jr., a cornerback, covering a tight end. I don't care how fast you are as a tight end, you better damn well be packing some badass headfakes or you're going to be smothered like Waffle House hashbrowns. Indy, on the defensive side, already knows that once they take Rex's deep game away by playing cover 2, he will have to either check down, throw inside routes, or hand off. You will probably see a lot of defensive end contain formations, with Cato June and Bob Sanders staying put in zone formation until the play takes shape. If Chicago happens to pull out a 3 or even 4 WR set (I don't think I've seen them do that but 3 or 4 times all year), then Sanders and June will most likely drop into a man zone. The key for Indy will be closing down on the run up the gut and off tackle; Jones seems to love running behind left tackle.

In consideration of all these points, I think the biggest so-called X-factor is managing each team's respective QB nerves. Neither Manning or Grossman have been in this position before. They both have a lot to prove (Manning that he can win the big one, Grossman that he truly doesn't suck). I think if I were an offensive coordinator, I'd take the ball out of my QB's hands as much as possible for this game. Both teams employ excellent two RB sets and both run off tackle and stretch plays very well. Indy will most likely take this approach except with the option play, while Chicago will most likely just stick with the run 75% of the time. Indy will most likely run stretch to the outer tackle to prevent Urlacher from closing too quickly, while I expect Chicago to run it down Brackett's throat.

And here's what you're all waiting for, my 10 super bowl predictions:

1. Colts will win. It will be close the first half, but Indy will pull away in the second half as bad Rex's time at the ball nears midnight. Colts 28, Bears 17.
2. The longest kick or punt return Chicago will have will be 40 yards. I know this is a big number, but there won't be a TD return. There hasn't been a punt return for a TD YET in a super bowl.
3. Peyton will throw 1 INT.
4. Grossman won't throw any. He'll just be terrible.
5. Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne will both be held under 100 yards.
6. Brian Urlacher will have 10+ tackles.
7. Jones will score 2 TD for the Bears.
8. Addai will score 2 TD for the Colts.
9. Hunter Smith will prove to be an incredible punting weapon for the Colts, keeping Devin Hester from getting too set up for a return by either kicking it OB or high enough for Colts defenders to reach him for a fair catch.
10. Super Bowl XLI MVP- Joseph Addai

Love.Affirmed.

2007-01-29T14:34:00.000-08:00

It's a fairly slow week as we prep up for the Super Bowl. How slow? Even CNN placed our Big Beautiful Baby Boy's passing on its front page. CNN obviously agrees that this is surely a sad day for the world that Barbaro has passed. It's clear that Barbaro's fans didn't write their well-wishes hard enough or fast enough to give the gallant colt the will to survive. But, somehow I will go on, and manage despite my grief to make a post. Perhaps afterwards I can write Barbaro a letter that someone will read to him, which will have about the same effect on him dead as it did while he was alive. Pat Forde writes about how he left his mark on us all, but how great was he really? I mean, Barbaro didn't even remember 9/11, being born in 2003. That doesn't sound too heroic to me.

There's a few rumblings in Red Sox-land, so why don't we check in with the Evil Metropolitan Area? (We're not quite an Empire, yet.)

-- Nearly two months after J.D. Drew accepted the Red Sox's five year, $70 million deal to do approximately the same thing Trot Nixon was doing anyway (run around in RF, hit every so often, and get hurt all the time), the contract was finally settled. It only took 12 days longer than Noah had to float around on his big animal crap-filled boat (also known as the SS Royals). J.D. is now a member of the Red Sox, and team doctors will soon be scouring local morgues for cadaver ligaments they can use to bolster his right shoulder. If they fail in their quest (perhaps because of their drunken driving), the Red Sox can still opt out of the contract if Drew spends 35 days on the DL during his 3rd and 4th years with a preexisting right shoulder injury. Sure, I'm happy with the signing - I mean, now we have someone in RF who, instead of being absymal against lefties (Nixon's .336 OBP in 2006), is slightly less absymal (Drew's .338 OBP in 2006). Sounds like an upgrade to me.

-- In news that's not really news because delusional people who listen to AM radio first started it, Curt Schilling is experiencing a groundswell of support to run against Senator John Kerry as a Republican in 2008. If you define "groundswell" as "100 people calling in to some radio station wedged on the dial between screaming Spanish amigos and classical jazz elevator music." When people immediately made news of his startled, honest non-denial, he quickly retorted by stating he's not going to retire after 2007 as was previously stated. Unless he's planning on campaigning while simultaneously playing baseball, which would be immensely entertaining. But why not Curt Schilling for President? He's a loudmouth, everyone is already sick of him, and at least when he throws the first pitch he could get it over the plate.

-- The Red Sox are also apparently in talks with Colorado to acquire Todd Helton, because we're not quite exactly like the Yankees yet, and thus we obviously need an old slugger on the decline to catch up. So far the best thing to come from these talks is the following YouTube video, from some guy calling himself the StatsGuru, who BaseballMuses from what seems to be either the public library or a cramped corner of his bedroom the merits of acquiring Helton over our favorite Jewish first baseman Kevin Youkilis. It's "probablistic" that "Helton doesn't get to as many balls as Youkilis." Yeah. Pretty much.

Taking the fall

2007-01-28T13:10:00.000-08:00

No team likes to fire a coach at mid-season. Usually it happens if a team, say, starts 6-24 in a season with playoff expectations. Minnesota has now fired their coach in the middle of two of the last three seasons, first the most successful coach in franchise history, with a team record of 25-26, and now his replacement, with the team sitting at 20-20.

The thing is, when Saunders was fired, the Wolves had started 13-6 and then gone 12-20. Under Casey, they'd started slow, gotten to 20-16, and then lost four straight. Four straight is worth a firing, with the team definitely in contention for the playoffs? How does Doc Rivers still have a job?

Much has been made of Kevin Garnett's increasing frustration with the franchise's mediocrity, so of course a move like this would not have been made without his approval, if not his outright encouragement. Randy Wittman, longtime Wolves assistant and former Cleveland head coach, was brought in at the beginning of the season, in hindsight clearly for just this eventuality.

Casey didn't deserve to go. But at this point, as a Wolves fan, I'll take whatever keeps Garnett happy and motivated. The one who really needs to go is McHale. We need a GM who can make good evaluations of talent, smart trades, and good drafts. The wins will come from that, not from anything the coach can do. If Wittman continues to have to try to win with McHale's decisions, look for another update in this space in about a year or two, when the Wolves are again around .500 at the All-Star break.

If You Can't Beat 'Em..

2007-01-25T17:44:00.000-08:00

As the resident Boston sports fan, this is the absolute worst time to start up this blog. The overachieving Patriots finally bowed out of the playoffs a round longer than they probably should have, the Celtics and the Bruins arzzzzzzzz, and the Red Sox don't start their season for approximately fifteen years, give or take. It's so bad that I even managed to care about the Massachusetts - Rhode Island basketball game yesterday and was genuinely disappointed that the Minutemen lost. If that's not sad I don't know what is.

Ok, actually, I do know what is - the fact that I'm openly rooting for the Celtics to continue losing and not feeling even slightly guilty about it. Red Auerbach must be doing backwards somersaults in his grave. Even Doc Rivers and Al Jefferson are making quips about getting Greg Oden, though I'd also be quite happy with Mr. Kevin Durant as well. Of course, we'll likely wind up with neither. (1997 & Tim Duncan, anyone?) I've been told that the games are immensely entertaining with all our hard-working youngsters, but there's still too many sharp objects within 50 feet of my television for me to dare watch.

The low point so far is last night's 82-76 loss to the Atlanta Hawks at home, the Celtics' 9th straight loss. After having a 18 point lead after the first quarter and a 15 point halftime lead, the young Celts just turned over and Schruted the game, getting outscored by 21 in the second half. By the Hawks. At home. Ryan Gomes went 1-11, Allan Ray went 0-9, and our leading scorer Delonte West went 5-14. Eight Celtics players played in the game; the most veteran of these was Kendrick Perkins, who was drafted in 2003. The oldest was Gomes, born September 1, 1982. But this is good, right?

I remember drinking the Kool-Aid after the Celtics beat Charlotte on the road on Dec 16. It wrapped up a five game win streak that left the Celtics at 10-13 after wins at New Jersey, at New York, at Philly, and vs Denver. I figured we actually had a chance to back into the playoffs by winning the Atlantic. Then Pierce got hurt; we've been 2-16 since.

Anyway, here's the Celtics season in a nutshell: Tony Allen taking an axe to his ACL and MCL after the whistle blew the play dead - and he didn't even make the irrelevant dunk. Enjoy.

Arrested Developments

2007-01-25T15:51:00.000-08:00

With all the hubbub surrounding the Super Bowl, it's hard to notice a lot of other news that's happening in the NFL right now. Sure, the Steelers, Dolphins, Raiders, and Cowboys and others are making important staff changes that could have a profound effect on who Bill Simmons and Tim Keown discuss as being the next worst personnel blunder. And even though, for once, an Indiana team has (I think) a legitimate chance to finally win the big one (c'mon, let's face it, the 2002 Indiana Hoosiers basketball team versus Maryland and the 2000 Pacers versus the Lakers were just flukes), the big football story of the week is the Cincinnati Bengals. Yes, the Bengals, that team who has as much offensive talent as the Colts do and yet failed to make the playoffs.

News of this week is that Chris Henry, the 3rd WR of the Bengals, who caught as many TD passes as Chad Johnson in the 2006 season, is serving two days of jail time for his conviction of attempting to get high school teenage girls drunk enough to have sex with him (I hear the courts are calling that "unlawful transaction involving a minor" these days). Henry has shown, through prior convictions, that he's not exactly the most colorful crayon in the box. He pled guilty to a weapons charge in Florida earlier this year to avoid jail time, since, well, it's hard to suspend belief about mistaken identity when you're wearing your own freaking jersey, waving a gun at someone, and talking about yourself. If only someone had actually told Henry that the much easier and more legal way to get teenage girls into bed (minus the pedophilia charges that will obviously ensue afterwards) is to give them free copies of Teen Beat that you've slapped your John Hancock on and passing them notes in 5th period Spanish that say you'll, like, totally go out with them.

But it wasn't just Henry who was making headlines this week, no, there was a ninth arrest of the season that Jonathan Joseph, a rookie cornerback and likely replacement of former Pro-Bowler Tory James, helped to add to the already lofty total of criminal charges brought against the black and orange. In a truly inspiring team effort, Joseph helped the league-leading Bengals increase their hold on total time of marijuana possession. Joseph's charges (and most likely eventual guilty plea) could help inspire the Bengals to go for double digits this year. Hell, it could even happen before the super bowl. Now, wouldn't THAT be something special? "Jonathan Joseph, you just got arrested for marijuana possession, what are you gonna do now? "I'm going to Kenton County Jail! Whooo!"

Certainly the Bengals' players aren't the only ones in the entire NFL who are smoking doobies, enjoying the sauce, or beating their wives. They're just not very good at hiding it. Perhaps, instead of cracking down on team misconduct, as Marvin Lewis is supposedly doing (great track record since you instigated that policy, by the way, Marv), the Bengals organization should just hire some con men to show them how to get away the crimes they'll eventually commit, or align themselves with whatever mafia's present in the Queen City (the UC Bearcats?). After all, you're only guilty if you get caught.

Welcome!

2007-01-25T14:35:00.000-08:00

... to Three and Out, a sports blog with five writers, so far. We just wanted a place to write about our favorite teams, players, and sports stories, share our joys and pain (there are Eagles and Vikings fans here, so plenty of pain), and laugh at each other. So here we are. And I'll kick it off with a commentary on everyone's favorite sport: tennis!

David Foster Wallace has said much better than I have time or insight to match how good Roger Federer is. But in case you didn't hear, at the Australian Open (motto: "Technically a Grand Slam just like Wimbledon!"), he let Andy Roddick get up 4-3 in the first set and then ran off 11 straight games to put the match away. Roddick, you might have heard, under new coach Jimmy Connors, has been rejuvenated, blowing through the tournament like, well, a poor man's Roger Federer. Federer, with his typical modesty, dismissed it as a lucky game: "I had one of these days when everything just worked, I was unbeatable. [...] I am shocked myself. The tournament is not even over yet, so let's not get carried away."

Considering he's just matched a seventy-year-old record for consecutive Grand Slam finals, maybe it's okay to get a little carried away, wouldn't you think?

"Let me do it one more time," says Federer, a statement which must make Fernando Gonzalez and Tommy Haas feel good. They play late tonight in what we might call the "NFC championship game" of the Aussie.