Friday, June 15, 2007

This Is Not Your Mother's Softball League

When I was growin' up, softball was the game you played when you wanted to let the girls have fun too. The games were always low-key and high-scoring on account of the ball is huge and the pitches underhanded. Let us just say that defense and pitching did not figure highly into the team choosing. The pitcher, in fact, was anyone who could at least 75% of the time get the ball near enough the plate that someone could hit it.

That's not how they roll in Michigan, where up Battle Creek way, the Allen Park Cabrini high school softball team is advancing to the finals on the arm of Katie Osburn, who not only drove in the winning run in their 1-0 semifinal victory, but also pitched a one-hitter.

The only game of softball I ever played that ended 1-0 ended in the first inning after the second batter hit the ball and it rolled into the street and a truck flattened it.

But hey, lest you think this Katie Osburn is a one-game wonder, here's another stat for you. The Monarchs have allowed one run all season. That's 34 games. They've won 73 straight, and are (obviously) 34-0 this year. And what do you think Osburn's record is? If she were the Steve Carlton of her team (Carlton won 27 of the Phillies' 59 victories back in 1972), she'd be something like 15-0. But no, she's better than that. Her record is the same as the team's, 34-0.

Which means, for those of you keeping score at home, that over 34 games, Katie Osburn has started every game and surrendered exactly one run. That is some serious softball. I mean, I can't even imagine. I wonder if Katie would be willing to come out to Cali and pose as my daughter for the office softball game. That'd show those jerks over in Sales.


Anonymous said...

The real question is, who drove in the run off her? That's the player I'd want on my team!

Monarch said...

The player who drove in the run never should have batted. You see with one out and a runner on 1st Katie had one hit back to her on the mound, she then turned and threw a perfect strike to the shortstop at second, she then dragged her foot over the base and when going for the double play was taken out by the runner. Thats all good and Cabrini should have had the force at second however the umpire somehow didn't see the shortstops foot go across the bag and ruled the runner safe at second. Now insted of 2 out and a runner at 1st Cabrini has 1 out and runners at 1st and 2nd. Katie struck out the next batter which should have ended the inning. Now with 2 outs the runners are running on anything the next batter hit a single into center field and thats how the 1 run scored. A cabrini parent was video taping the game and upon instant replay it was clear that the ump screwed Katie's out of a perfect season.