Friday, June 15, 2007
This Is Not Your Mother's Softball League
When I was growin' up, softball was the game you played when you wanted to let the girls have fun too. The games were always low-key and high-scoring on account of the ball is huge and the pitches underhanded. Let us just say that defense and pitching did not figure highly into the team choosing. The pitcher, in fact, was anyone who could at least 75% of the time get the ball near enough the plate that someone could hit it.
That's not how they roll in Michigan, where up Battle Creek way, the Allen Park Cabrini high school softball team is advancing to the finals on the arm of Katie Osburn, who not only drove in the winning run in their 1-0 semifinal victory, but also pitched a one-hitter.
The only game of softball I ever played that ended 1-0 ended in the first inning after the second batter hit the ball and it rolled into the street and a truck flattened it.
But hey, lest you think this Katie Osburn is a one-game wonder, here's another stat for you. The Monarchs have allowed one run all season. That's 34 games. They've won 73 straight, and are (obviously) 34-0 this year. And what do you think Osburn's record is? If she were the Steve Carlton of her team (Carlton won 27 of the Phillies' 59 victories back in 1972), she'd be something like 15-0. But no, she's better than that. Her record is the same as the team's, 34-0.
Which means, for those of you keeping score at home, that over 34 games, Katie Osburn has started every game and surrendered exactly one run. That is some serious softball. I mean, I can't even imagine. I wonder if Katie would be willing to come out to Cali and pose as my daughter for the office softball game. That'd show those jerks over in Sales.